10 Reasons to Quit Your Job

The below post has been a work in progress since last September when I decided the world of public accounting probably wasn’t for me. I always told myself that if I could come up with 10 valid reasons to leave my job, I would put in my notice. Unfortunately for me, this list was complete well before I had another opportunity lined up, and being the risk adverse accountant, refused to quit without one . Thankfully, that is no longer the case (after 8 years of auditing and I am finally leaving).
So here it goes:

1. 
   
   You have thoughts and desires of getting into an accident severe enough to warrant time off, but minor enough for no permanent damage


2. 
   
   You envy the homeless man on the street corner with his shopping cart, sleeping bag and radio who, instead of going to work, gets to hang out and enjoy a sunny Tuesday afternoon


3. 
   
   You sit on your bed each morning fully clothed for at least 15 minutes trying to talk yourself into leaving your house


4. 
   
   You have cried more than twice at work


5. 
   
   You secretly wish for food poisoning every time you eat sushi and you no longer shy away from the Monday All You Can Eat special at the dodgy looking joint with a funky smell


6. 
   
   You have seriously considered taking up smoking just for an excuse to leave the building at odd hours of the day


7. 
   
   You’ve considered marrying a wealthy gay man with a great apartment and in need of a green card just so you can avoid work for a few years


8. 
   
   You begin losing your hair and/or gaining weight from the stress


9. 
   
   Pregnancy would guarantee 4 valid months off…6 with bed rest


10. 
    
    You just don’t care enough anymore to put in the extra effort you always prided yourself on.
    

There you have it, my list of reasons that has been complete since March. Coming up with reasons to leave was easy, finding a job to leave for was a little harder.

Older Wiser and More Mature…or Just Sober?

Ah, the Fourth of July, one of my favorite long weekends of the year. A time for BBQ-ing, seeing friends and hanging out at the Lake. In years past it has also been known for the Havasu-like party down at Split Rock complete with sun, load music and an impromptu dance party spanning the tied up boats. It has been the location of multiple injuries, both physical and moral and great stories…some that I will never remember.

This past year, my sister, 9 month old niece and I hopped in the Bass boat (Dana’s “engagement ring”…she did technically ask for something sparkly and expensive) and headed down to enjoy the party. Unlike past years however, we anchored just off the main floating party, allowing for prime viewing of the debauchery. And it was from this safe distance that I obtained a whole new perspective on what I always thought was a good time.

What I had always taken as a P Diddy style boat party (hot girls, small bikinis, good music and expensive boats) in fact looked more like an underfunded hillbilly yacht club. Yes, the boats were expensive, but the music blaring from every third boat competed so fiercely with one another that none of it sounded good. And those hot girls in small bikinis with killer dance moves (myself included in years past) looked more like bright-white flabby high schoolers doing the Carl from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It all just seemed so wrong and inappropriate…and even worse, this got me thinking - had it always been like this or had things gotten worse. Or even more alarming, was I just getting too old to enjoy the shenanigans that my parents always complained about. Maybe this is what people mean by getting old and wiser. I no longer needed that booze drenched scene to call it a good day.

But in reality I think the moment of doubt was really just a moment of soberness. Age had nothing to do with it…my parents and friends clearly showed me that later that night with the multiple tequila shots and bottles of wine. And so I have come to realize, I am stuck in an unfortunate conundrum –I am old enough to know better, but too young not to care.