Thoughtfully Curated vs Willfully Clueless

My European travels can be summed up in two distinct phases: 1) my late twenties / early thirties where I would head to a new city in a new country with little to no plans and see what nonsense and fun we could find and 2) travels with the Breuer Family where we pick a town off the beaten path to stay for a week and ask the locals what we should do or see. The idea of planning ahead for more than just the basics is not something on my radar. 

Apparently, this might not be the normal approach to a European vacation as I found out while coordinating our Paris trip for May.  And so began the healthy balance between 1) my fellow travelers’ desires to do and see everything, eat at the trendy, Instagram-worthy restaurants, and drink at the bars designed for fancy drinks and 2) my desire to just see where the days took us without overthinking or over planning it. I suppose my laissez faire attitude could also be because I had already been to Paris twice.

In the end, we did strike the right balance between beautiful photos, wonderful meals and seeing the city highlights and having stories that will stick with me long after the memory of the great food and floral backdrops fade. Let’s compare:

Carefully curated meals: We had a very robust “must do / must see / must eat” list comprised of: Instagram feeds, friend of friend recommendations and relatives who lived part time in Paris.  At the top of the list was Pink Mamma, a great Italian restaurant that saves a few tables for those unable to get a reservation but willing to line up, which apparently we were.  We got there 40 minutes before they opened for Mother’s Day lunch and were able to snag a table shortly after opening. While I normally refuse to wait in a line for food, it pains me to say that this one was worth it. Also included as an honorable mention on a few lists was Cafe Cassette in St. Germaine which is where we ended up for brunch Saturday morning. The food was good but what really stood out were the walls covered in flowers providing the perfect selfie backdrops.  

Willfully clueless lunch: On Monday, Erin and Kat flew back home leaving Anj, Ange and I to do a bit more exploring before I departed on Tuesday morning and they on Wednesday.  After our adventures to the flea market (more on that below) we took an uber towards a soccer shop for Ange to buy a few presents for her boys.  Halfway there we realized we were starving and had the uber drop us off a few blocks away at what looked to be a promising brasserie. It was called Le Sarah Bernhardt and come to find out it offered the best salads we had found all trip and a really yummy French onion soup.  It also had the most friendly waiter.  One point for spontaneity! 

Carefully curated drinks: The recommendation list also included spots to grab drinks which included Gatsby’s (just around the corner from our house) and Maggie’s Rooftop, a rooftop bar in Hotel Rochechouart.  We checked out Gatsby’s on our last night with the full group, getting completely drunk on beautifully crafted cocktails (so drunk that some in the group may have peed in an alley and I might have stopped at a kebab shop to buy a kebab, pizza and 3 sides of fries to share back at our apartment). And then the following night, Ange, Anj and I enjoyed drinks and a light dinner at Maggie’s in the Hotel Rochechouart which also happened to be where we were staying after we checked out of the apartment that morning.  Once again, a few too many cocktails and I managed to take an uber the following morning at 3:15am to the wrong airport (CDG) for my 6am flight.  Don’t worry, a second uber ride got me to the correct airport (ORY) just in time! I suppose even with the fancy drinks, we still aren’t fancy. 

Willfully clueless happy hour: We might not be fancy, but we aren’t trashy either.  On our day of shopping on Monday, one of us needed to pee (and it was too light outside for the alleyway) so we found a decent looking bar to grab a drink and use the facilities.  We were on a side street with six bars to choose from… we thought we chose well? While sitting outside, we were treated to a homeless woman getting completely naked to get changed in the street and I had my first encounter with soap on a stick in the bathroom (I will let the photo speak for itself on the comedic value). We also were overcharged for terrible drinks.  Yes, this makes for a good story, but there is a lesson in here somewhere.  

Carefully curated experiences: One of the requests from the group was to take a sunset boat cruise along the Seine.  So we hired our own boat, packed our own snacks and drinks and set off for an evening on the water.  This one was actually totally worth it for those who haven’t done it.  Would I do it again? probably not, but definitely worth doing once.  

Willfully clueless shopping: I do love a good flea market and Paris happens to have one of the top 10 flea markets in the world (Saint Ouen flea market), at least according to my National Geographic 1,000 Perfect Weekends Book (okay I might have done a little research but clearly not a lot).  Not sure what this would entail and concerned that overpromising a flea market experience was bound to backfire I told the group we didn’t have to do it.  But Ange and Anj were willing to humor me on Monday so we grabbed an uber for the 15 minute ride out of the Paris circle and were dropped off under a freeway and next to a homeless camp. Anj was immediately worried about her safety and I was starting to second guess my decision to bring these two along, but we got out of the car and started walking.  It took a few blocks, but we eased into the experience, first at a used record stall (where Anj looked for a few records), then an antique furniture stall (where I realized this was the last place Ange, with her anti-clutter aesthetics, would like to be) before finding our nirvana: Chez Sarah.  We were walking through a covered alley and kept noticing beautiful designer dresses in the windows of a long narrow shop.  We popped inside and were immediately surrounded by Chanel, Dior, Celine. It was so fancy we were asked to put on white gloves before touching anything.  We joked that if any of us ever won the lotto we wouldn’t change our lifestyle but we would go back to this shop and each buy an outfit for a night out on the town, Ange chose this one.  In the end, I bought a vintage Chanel scarf… it was on my wishlist of things to buy so fair game.   

Carefully curated sights:  There was of course a request to check out the Louvre.  And once again, we did not go inside.  We did take a few photos outside of the pyramid and that seemed like enough.   

Clearly not the Louvre, but one of the many sites we saw

Willfully clueless spontaneity: After the Louvre we walked through the gardens to grab a drink. As we were finishing up our limoncello spritzers, the wind picked up and you could tell the weather was turning and rain was coming.  The entire garden cleared out in a matter of minutes and within a block of leaving the greenery behind I told the girls we had about 10 minutes before the storm hit.  We found a restaurant in 5 minutes and were seated just before the heavens opened. We made the best of lockdown with martinis and oysters and the rain eased up just as we were paying the bill.  I love the dry summers of California but do sometimes miss a heavy, afternoon summer storm you can only experience in Europe. 

Carefully curated traveling:  This one is on me. I love the challenge of making my flights enjoyable and this time I really went for it: I packed snack boxes filled with chocolate covered almonds, wasabi peas, crackers and sweets and pre-mixed vermouth with olives to make martinis on the flight.  

Willfully chaotic: Just plain overpacking. My rules of traveling with only a carry-on and wearing everything I packed went out the window once I heard others were checking a bag. I did refuse the largest suitcase we had at home but definitely packed more on this five day trip than I did for my three week vacation to Africa with my mom. 

Carefully curated wandering: On our last day, we started the morning at the flea market and then made our way to the soccer shop with plans to wander the surrounding neighborhood to check out a new spot.  In our wandering we discovered the Centre Pompidou and crossed the bridge to see the scaffolding outside of Notre Dame.  We also happened to find ourselves in the vicinity of a highly recommended ice cream shop, Rey’s.  I was skeptical, I mean how good can ice cream really be, but this one was good.  The flavor combos were very unique and all really delicious.  

Willfully clueless exploring: From the ice cream shop we should have continued walking north  and we would have found ourselves in the fancy shopping part of the Le Marsais neighborhood. It would have been a great way to end the trip and a spot we would have really liked.  Instead we found ourselves back in the other part of Le Marsais (aka home of the naked homeless lady) but also where we stumbled upon a cute record shop and I was able to buy Taylor’s newest album. Anj even grabbed their business card for me so I could tape it to the inside cover and always remember where, when and why I bought it. It is these types of memories I will never find in a guide book and why I try to make time for a little bit of unknowns in my travels.

Eras Tour, the Paris Edition

I would have never considered myself a true Swiftie. True, I enjoy her songs and saw her Reputation tour in 2018, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but her albums during Covid were not immediate favorites for me as I preferred the angrier, grittier vibe from Reputation. 

But she does put on a good show, so when the Eras tickets went on sale, Anj, Ange and I (the trio from 2018) all tried to get seats for the Santa Clara show.  Anj somehow managed to get through the disaster that was the TicketMaster crash and had three VIP tickets in her cart for $400 a piece. At the time though it seemed like too much. We let them go. 

Fast forward 10 months and the Eras tour had soon become the biggest thing in the world and an event not to be missed. I can only assume the hype was on par with Woodstock or LiveAid, a cultural phenomenon that people would be talking about for years to come. By July 2023 there were over 100 tour dates announced, she had crashed Ticketmaster a few more times, tickets were sold out within minutes and the resale value for the Santa Clara nose-bleed section was now $2,000.  

I actually had access to one of those tickets through work but turned it down. It still didn’t seem right; I wanted something more special and with friends.  And if we were going to spend that type of money, it was going to be some place fabulous. We were going to go abroad. 

And so we bought tickets to the Mothers Day weekend show in Paris. Five of us in total. And based on my calculations, that four night trip to Paris, including airfare, lodging, food, and the actual ticket bought through StubHub was just about the same price as the single ticket in Santa Clara. Side note: by the accents we heard and people we met at the show, apparently a lot of other Americans did the same math and came to the same conclusion. 

And the show itself? Worth every ounce of hype. I am currently trying to find a way to see it again. The woman is a Powerhouse. Full. Stop. 

I cried to the expected songs (this time around without pregnancy hormones to blame), sang my heart out with the other 40,000+ fans, shared a friendship bracelet with a 12 year old girl, watched a dad belt out the ballads, and felt a release of pain and frustration and sadness and a burst of joy and belonging that I didn’t know I had desperately needed for the past 6 years. And those last few albums that seemed a bit too soft upon first listening, they actually include some of my new favorite songs.  Oh and that new album she released right before our concert, we were the first city on the tour to see her perform the songs live. And let’s just say that the live versions definitely sound angrier and grittier than ever imagined. I mean hell, she has trademarked the name “Female Rage: the Musical” and it feels so right. 

Spring has Sprung

Spring is officially here marking a time of new beginnings, including me being a more involved parent. After missing out on parenting for most of March and early April, I definitely doubled down for the remainder of April and May.  

We wrapped up another fun season of BMX on Sundays and another season of soccer which included games on both Saturdays and Sundays resulting in a few missed races, a few missed games and one weekend where we had to divide and conquer.  For this specific weekend, Oskar had a soccer game on Sunday and Alva wanted to go to BMX.  I assumed I would take Alva to BMX in Napa with the car and Martin could use the eBike to get Oskar to his game in the city.  The night before, I checked in with Alva to make sure I understood the routine for getting her set up at the BMX gates (something Martin normally does). She tried to explain what she needed for maybe two seconds and realized she didn’t want to deal with teaching me the process she and Martin have carefully crafted over the past four seasons and instead proposed “How about this: How about Papa takes me to BMX.”  

And so with Martin needing the car to drive to Napa, Oskar and I opted to ride in style to his soccer game.  We splurged on our first ride in a Waymo, the self-driving car seen all around the city.  It was awesome! It felt like riding with a very cautious but safe driver who obeyed all traffic rules; it felt like being a celebratory with passing cars and pedestrians stopping to get a better look; it felt great not having to make small talk or avoid making small talk with a driver; it was fun to rock out our own music as loud as we wanted; it felt like a piece of the future available to only a few in San Francisco.  

The day got even better, when, while at the game, they let me be the line ref and even gave me a red flag to use! And later, with ice cream in the park with old Covid friends.

There were a few mothering mishaps and unappreciated efforts that followed.  After countless requests, I finally decided to make banana bread for the kids only to be told that Martin makes it better and Alva discovered a chunk of unsifted baking soda in one of her bites resulting in an over exaggerated spitting out of said banana bread and her running to the bathroom to wash out her mouth. Checkmate kiddos, I was clearly defeated. 

We were also informed just before Spring Break ended that the first week back would be “Spirit Week” and one of those days you were supposed to dress like something that begins with the first letter of your name… honestly who comes up with this shit.  Oskar opted for an Olchi (for those unfamiliar with this niche German book/cartoon, check out this link).  So a 2 day delivery from Amazon, followed by a late night of pulling together a costume, and I think we nailed it.  Only to be told the morning of that he didn’t want to wear the outfit.  Cool cool.  

April 26 was “Bring your Kids to Work” day for my office and it just happened to line up with a random Independent Study Day at school. So the kids came with me to Redwood City for a day at my office.  It was such a fun day that I would actually pull them out of school next year to join.  We had a science show, magic show, popcorn machine, cotton candy machine, painting class, photo booth, pizza and hot dogs for lunch and soft serve ice cream with all of the toppings on demand all day.

At the end of April, we were invited to a birthday party at the Presidio Bowling Alley, where I used to bowl in a league pre-Switzerland.  The set up was the same, but unfortunately they have since discontinued the bowling pin shaped beer bottles. The party continued at the birthday boy’s house in the Presidio and a few glasses of adult beverages were enjoyed by a few moms including yours truly.  We had to leave before I was ready (because it had been so long since I had a drink during the day in San Francisco) to head to a soccer match for Alva where there was a strong showing from her team (all 14 kids were there) and not such a strong showing from the other team (they had 4).  Refusing to let the kids sit on the sidelines, and fueled by a little bit of the previously consumed champagne, I pulled together a group of kids and siblings to play a game against the parents on a side field. Four adults were willing to have a go including yours truly and we gave it our best but ultimately lost due to rampant cheating on the side of the kids. 

And then two days later, after such a big month of family fun, Martin tested positive for covid.  My parenting skills were apparently in demand and needed for just a few more days and I was ready!

Teeth brushing fun

Coffee shop breakfasts before school

Rainy day forts

Another Waymo ride to school!