Preparing to be Unprepared

Child-birthing, Newborn Prep, Breastfeeding and Infant CPR classes completed?  Check. Car seat installed?  Check.  Nursery set up; Weeks ago.  Bag Packed?  Of course.  Birth plan typed, printed and packed in both hospital bag, saved on laptop and on iPhone?  Check.  Prepared dinners in the freezer?  Check.   Baby name picked out?  We at least have a short list.  List of important numbers to call once he arrives (Doula, Insurance, Pre-School (kidding, but not), Baby Photographer).  Check.

At officially 39 and a half weeks, and being the overly prepared, logistical planning, Type A control freak that I am, Martin and I have been physically and conventionally ready for Baby Breuer’s arrival for weeks.   We are, by all standards, “Prepared.”

However one thing I am not prepared for and don’t believe I will ever truly be prepared for, is mentally becoming a mom.  It is the great unknown and is the biggest commitment I have ever signed up for.  As it was recently put:  becoming a mom for the first time is like starting a new job, although one that you have no training for, no true knowledge about or previous skills you can leverage.  One where your boss doesn’t talk to you, doesn’t give you feedback and only yells and screams when something is needed.  A job where sleep is secondary and someone’s life actually does depend on you showing up mentally each and every moment.  It puts my past 14+ year career, demands and accomplishments in perspective.

And so, while we might be physically ready for the big day, I am mentally preparing myself to be unprepared as to what may come after the bundle of joy arrives.  I am preparing for the worst (sleepless days and nights, lack of energy, irritability with both Baby and Martin, uncontrollable emotions, a sense of self-loss, endless loads of laundry, lack of bathing, and loneliness) while deep down hoping for the best (a healthy baby whose daily interactions and advancements will make it all bearable). 

I am off to embark on the next great adventure and know that when I return I will never be the same person again.  I will be a mom.   

See you all on the other side!

Twenty Weeks In – Halftime Recap

I have officially hit the halfway mark of the pregnancy and can’t believe how quickly it has flown by!  It feels like just yesterday that we found out the exciting news and thought the upcoming 9 months would take forever! 

Here is a quick recap of the last 20 weeks, in no particular order:

• Baby Breuer is officially a Boy!  We found out just recently after Christmas
• Country count for the baby is officially at four – US, Mexico, Germany and Israel 
•  He has been to Hawaii and Orange County for weddings, to Denver for a girls weekend and up to Seattle a few times for work 
•  He has been to an ACDC concert and crashed a bachelorette party in Cabo 
•  His first lullaby sung to him by me was I Love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett at a crowded Karaoke bar, sober I might add. 
•  Thanks to dietary restrictions and lack of heartburn, my go to dishes are now primarily Indian or Asian inspired. 
•  And thanks to the local shop in North Beach, Carmel Blue, I am caught up on all things Baby, including registration for the baby classes, prenatal yoga and prenatal mommy meet-ups (where I am actively searching for my new best mom friend ala speed dating) 

It has been amazing so far and I am excited to see where the next 20 weeks lead us!  

Annegret’s Goulash

To me, and especially in my family, the kitchen is the heart of the house.  The kitchen is where the action occurs, where secrets are shared and stories are told.  On any given holiday or gathering at the Gimbels, you will find more people in the kitchen and surrounding area than anywhere else in the house.  In the Breuer house, it couldn’t be more different.  The kitchen is clearly divided from the rest of the house and is typically hidden behind a closed door….  It has always been Annegret’s domain and an area of the house I have always been intrigued and intimidated by.   

This past Christmas, I was officially welcomed into the lair and introduced to Annegret’s kitchen. 

When asked what I wanted for Christmas by Martin from his parents, my only request was for Annegret to teach me how to make her Goulash. And this past Christmas, I got my wish.  On December 27^th, Annegret opened up the kitchen door and taught me and Meike how to make Goulash.  We began that afternoon, with notebooks in hand and pens at the ready to take in everything we needed to know.  Meike chopped the onions (using German efficiency) and I cut up the meat.  And then we watched in awe as Annegret turned a few simple ingredients into her world famous dish.  Afraid of missing anything, I supplemented my notes with photos and recorded everything, including the required coffee break while the stew simmered. 

During the process, we relaxed in the kitchen and shared stories and antidotes from our lives making me feel closer to Martin’s mom than ever before.  Martin and Ernst popped in every once in a while to hang out and the casualness of the kitchen reminded me of home.

In the end, it took two pages of detailed notes, 5 photos to ensure correct amount, sizes and brands, a few requests to repeat the steps and a few reprimands after Annegret forgot to tell us what she was doing to create our first batch of goulash.  And it was incredible.  Just the right amount of seasoning, the meat was tender and flavorful and while maybe not at the master’s level, it wasn’t a bad first batch. 

Now here’s hoping I can recreate it again in the US!