Family Photo Shoot (aka the Day I Broke)

At the insistence of friends I decided to hire a professional photographer to capture Oskar's first few days in the family.  I am glad I did as they turned out perfectly!  Below are my favorite photos from that day. 

What they don't show (thankfully), but will always remind me of, is the 45 minute meltdown that Oskar had that then prompted a 30 minute meltdown by me.    Oskar was hungry and inconsolable prompting his cries.  I was overly tired and ridden with mommy guilt for not being able to give him the milk he needed, prompting my tears.  And poor Martin was once again the rock of the family, calming Oskar down and reassuring me that everything would be okay.   We were able to work it out in the end and Amanda our photographer was not only incredibly understanding but was also able to capture some of the baby bliss magic despite the tears. 

My Life - In Clips

This sleep deprivation that new moms talk about is no joke.  While I normally crave and need a solid 8 hours of sleep each night to function, I have been reduced to 2 hour blocks of restless sleep if I am lucky and now just crave the 20 minute power nap.  And with the lack of sleep comes the lack of brain power, focus and ability to think in full sentences.  So for this post, I am going to let the following clips explain my state of mind for me, it only seems fitting.   Here is how I would describe my current life: 

When I found out I was pregnant, this was all I could think about. 

 

I would automatically quote this commercial each time I told someone we were having a boy:

   

How I feel about my post pregnancy body: 

When Oskar cries, all I can think about is:

How Oskar acts when he is hungry (complete with grunting and vigorous head shaking) :

Or how he acts when he is not:

Immediately after Oskar eats too much:

 

And then we have the extended aftermath of too much milk:

 Putting him down to sleep each night is a challenge:

 

My daily bliss is best summarized though with the following:

Shit Just Got Real Baby

Like my friends before me that have had kids, I have seen their Facebook feeds, Instagram Photos and Blogs switch overnight from daily life, travels and friends to 100% kids once the first child arrives.  And while I love photos of other kids and love the updates, I always thought I would be able to manage both an interesting non-baby perspective coupled with the unconditional love for the newest addition to the family.   I will say it now: that is just not going to happen, at least in the meantime.  So for those who agree with my pre-baby sentiment, this is your warning, this Blog is about to become 100% baby. 

I will try to keep it light and still fun, but no promises.  I will let you be the judge after reading the post below about the birth and you can decide. 

After my maternity leave plans were derailed on Thursday afternoon with the news from the doctor, Martin and headed to the hospital where we checked in and waited to get hooked up to track the progress.   After waiting an hour with no action, we learned that Thursday was apparently a busy day in a busy week for expecting moms, with scheduled inductions pushed back 2-3 days due to more pressing and urgent pregnancies.... like mine.  Apparently having your water break with no movement for 2 days is not a good thing).  So while others had to wait, Martin and I snagged one of the last L&D rooms for the day and were sent upstairs to get the show on the road...I was never one to wait in lines, whether it is at the bar or to get backstage at a concert so why should birth be any different.  

The afternoon was spent with Martin and I laughing at the turn of events and trying to wrap our heads around something that had appeared so abstract just a few hours prior.    There was definitely a lot of nervous laughter and shaking of my head... I mean seriously, how did I not know my water had broken... I had two days to figure it out! 

Around 7pm I was hooked up to an IV, and the doctors began the process to induce labor.   While we waited for the drugs to kick in, we watched Warriors beat the OKC beginning their 3 game winning streak to win the Division title and head to the championship.  Around 9pm when the contractions really kicked into gear I was feeling confident that while I was hooked up to an IV and my mobility was limited I would still be able to stick with the Birth Plan and have a natural birth.  I lasted exactly 2 hours of real labor before crying uncle and asking for the epidural; that shit hurts and could have gone on for hours!  It was the best decision ever.  With the angel of a doctor getting the E drip going, I was able to sleep for a few hours pain free and without the need to get up to pee every 30 minutes (a novelty for me at this point).   And while similar to the lack of cravings or mood swings during the pregnancy I won't have the crazy story of me yelling at Martin that I hate him for doing this to me I was able to be fully present and well rested for the big show.   It only seemed fitting that I would go into the process still smiling.

From zero to 60 in just under three hours, I was ready to start pushing around 2am.  And at 3:25am on Friday May 27th we officially met our little man, Oskar Arvid Breuer, a healthy boy weighing 7 lbs and 8.5 oz.  Although to be fair, the name wasn't decided until two days later; it took some negotiating and horsetrading, but it was definitely worth the wait to get it right. 

We are now home and settling into our new routine, or rather Oskar is settling into his routine and Martin and I are trying to keep up.    And while I know it has been said before by every single other new mom out there, we are utterly in love with the little guy and can’t imagine life without him.   Our love is all consuming.

Like all constants in life, change is inevitable.  This blog has gone from my single crazy life of traveling in Europe to the maturity of meeting and marrying an amazing man and setting up a home in San Francisco.  And now it is on to the next adventure of motherhood and all that comes with it.   I hope you stick with me on the next journey.

Maternity Leave

Starting around January, the reality of this pregnancy finally began to sink in, and with it, was the realization of four months "off" of work through Maternity Leave. So, after what seemed like a long, slow end to work, including wrapping up final projects and getting the year-end audit completed, my Maternity Leave officially began Saturday May 21!   And similar to my one week of being a lady of leisure, I had plans.  

I was going to spend Saturday with my mom at the de Young Museum and the Oscar de la Renta exhibit, viewing all of the pretty dresses that I would never be able to afford, let alone fit into. Buckles and I were going to have lunch and an afternoon of strolling the promenade in Sausalito (including the obligatory double scoop of ice cream from Lambert's) to kick off the Summer of Buckles and Gimbel.   On Wednesday I had to run errands including a doctor's appointment in the morning, a last minute trip to Ikea, a meeting with the newborn photographer in the afternoon, and then dinner at my parent’s house for my grandpa’s birthday.  Thursday was slated for a final prenatal massage and Friday I had a long overdue dentist appointment scheduled.  And the rest of the week and following free days were to be spent relaxing, getting a pedicure, a haircut, possibly some other "nesting" related activities and finally watching all three Godfather movies uninterrupted. 

Things were going great and just as planned.  That is until Thursday morning when I woke up to cramps and for lack of a more delicate term, slow leakage.  To be fair the leakage began earlier in the week, but I thought nothing of it.  After a quick Google search which prompted a call to the doctor, Martin and I were set with an appointment for later that day to confirm what I was expecting, I peed myself.  So in the meantime, we went out to a nice lunch in the neighborhood and began making plans for the afternoon and dinner that night.  Unfortunately like all great plans, this one had a different outcome, at 1pm, our doctor confirmed that my water had broken (and most likely had earlier in the week) and I needed to go to the hospital right away.    Baby B was coming... and my plans for the rest of the week (and I am guessing any and all future plans) were tossed to the wind thanks to the new boss in town.

It is go time!