Single in Quarantine?

Whelp. I can officially answer the question: what would my life look like if I was single during quarantine? I have had a few days alone these past few months and they have definitely given me insight into how my life would have been without anyone else in it… it started off positive, but let’s just say things spiraled downhill quickly. 

In February, with work ramping up for earnings, I opted to stay home one weekend while Martin took the kids to Timber Cove. It was two days of productivity and relaxation. I had one late night working and then most of the weekend for just me. I ordered take out dinners from my favorite restaurants and might have gone a little overboard, ordering enough food to feed a family of four. I worked out, I read in the sun on the deck, I did some more work and I accomplished a few little projects around the house (like building up the Ikea drawers for Oskar’s room but ignoring the bigger one like the half-finished basement laundry room). By 5pm that Saturday I had officially done everything on my list (at least that I wanted to do) and, seeing how it was too early to pick up dinner, I worked out again. 

That Sunday was probably more representative than how things would actually be if I lived alone. I woke up late, I watched a movie first thing in the morning (even though it was gorgeous outside), I had leftovers for breakfast/ early lunch, I took a nap and then I finally pulled myself together once I realized the family would be home shortly. Until the family got home my productivity and motivation level was near zero. 

Fast forward a few weeks to post McKane’s wedding where I was sequestered downstairs until I could get my negative COVID test. During those 5 days, I really lived the quarantine life on what I would call my second vacation... There was no working out, a lot of ordering in from my favorite restaurants, a lot of snacks, and a lot of sleep. It was amazing, but probably only because I knew it was temporary.  

The Lost Weekend

(real date is October 25, 2020)

I was hesitant to post this. It gave me anxiety to think about the judgment I would receive. But given I really ignored the CDC recommendations for the wedding weekend in Cabo, how much additional scorn can I receive for the bachelorette weekend in Puerto Rico? Following all of the recommendations of the CDC (okay almost all, since the trip really wasn’t essential travel) and taking all necessary precautions, at the end of October McKane and her bridesmaids all flew to Puerto Rico for a weekend at Lyndsey’s house to celebrate the bride to be. 

After 7 months of lock down, where I barely left the house, hadn’t seen a single friend in person and hadn’t eaten out at a restaurant, this trip was definitely a shock to my system. That, coupled with the fact that the lifestyle Lyndsey has in PR is completely different than my own in San Francisco (she lives in a beautiful house on the Ritz Carlton property at Dorado Beach), I might go so far as saying I was shell shocked, in the most complimentary way I can imagine.

Dinner out at Positivo Sand Bar... my first time at a restaurant in months

Golf day on the course 

Private yoga class on the beach

Fancy dinner at Lyndsey's house, complete with bartender, personal chef and guitarist for ambience. 

Not pictured above: the two golf carts we drove all weekend to get around since we really didn't leave the property / resort, the chartered yacht we had for the day on Saturday (including a really hungover/ seasick me thanks to the private bartender from Friday night's dinner), the personal chef Lyndsey had come each morning to make us breakfast or the amazing pools and spa that we were able to enjoy.  Like I said, it was surreal. 

Bridesmaid: Retired

This weekend, I officially retired as a bridesmaid.   After a long life of weddings, bachelorette party planning, fluffing of the bridal gown, holding of the flowers and making sure the bride’s needs were taken care of, I am hanging up my small bouquet, uncomfortable shoes and dresses I will never wear again. And I must say, I went out in style.

My first wedding appearance was for my Aunt Gini’s wedding where my sister and I were flower girls.  Even from that early age, I took my responsibilities seriously, and may or may not have puked just before the ceremony due to the stress of the job.

After a short break (during the awkward years of being too old to be a flower girl and yet too young to be a bridesmaid), my career as a bridesmaid really took off in 2007 and never really slowed down…To be fair, my first bridesmaid appearance was actually in 2005 for Erin’s first wedding, but that one doesn’t count. Therefore my first wedding was Ange’s where I flew back from Zurich for the weekend.  It began with me throwing shoes at a fellow bridesmaid after the rehearsal dinner and ended up with me in the pool during the after party. I would like to think things got a little classier after that first wedding.  And to be fair, my fellow bridesmaid admits that the shoe throwing was justified.  

My bridesmaid career ended with a five star affair on the beach in Cabo for Hurricane McKane’s wedding.  It was beautiful.  Everything was perfectly organized, elegant but casual, picture perfect but also truly personal to the couple.  And I was honored to be a part of it.

Here are a few photos from memory lane…

Where it all began... Aunt Gini and Uncle Juvie's Wedding in San Luis Obispo

Ange and Scott's Wedding in Healdsburg, post plunge

Dana and Ray's Wedding in Tahoe

Buckles and Mike's Wedding in Sonoma

Jo and Markus's Wedding in Washington

Neff and Chad's Wedding in San Clemente 

Anj and Ryan's Wedding in Carmel
(technically not a bridesmaid, but a VIP who got to give the speech) 

Jessica and Brooks's Wedding in Cabo

Groundhogs Day 2021

My love for Groundhog Day is well known and documented...And this year, my love of the day has never been more poignant.  These past eleven months truly have been Groundhog Day.     

Like everyone else, the days have swung between helplessness, depression and numbness to embracing the new way of life and appreciating the little moments of joy.  In some respects, I took the opportunity to better myself in the never ending day… and in others, well, not so much.  Here is just a brief recap:

• In March, we opened a daycare in our house for two bright, but rambunctious kiddos… we made it 3 months before shutting down and outsourcing to professionals pretty much as soon as it was an option again

• Oskar got a big boy bed and an upgrade to his bedroom

• Alva got potty trained and went from barely walking in January to running around the house, jumping and dancing in December.

• I baked some bread, made some applesauce and planted some plants

• We spent multiple weeks up at Dunsmuir: over Easter in April, in June and an amazing two weeks in September including my 40th birthday with the family

• We spent most every other weekend at Timber Cove, enjoying the extra outdoor space, fresh air and slower life... And in September we got finally sign off on our home allowing us to subsequently put in an unpermitted loft and start planning the guest house.

• I did a little self-care while trying to age gracefully and made just a “few” purchases over the 11 months… some really good buys (like my comfy pants and "Welcome to the Shitshow" coffee mug) and some not so useful buys (like a new lipstick or cute new work shoes).

• Thanks to working from home, I lost some muscle then gained some weight and am now trying to lose the weight and gain the muscle

• I finally and fully acknowledged my white privilege, how it deprives others of the very basic rights I take for granted, and started to try, on a daily basis to address this both personally and when raising my kids.

• Much to the chagrin of Martin, I started the huge project of redoing our basement / laundry room in June and still haven’t finished yet.

• We binge watched too many TV series to remember but highlights included Call My Agent, Borgen, The Great, Catastrophe, #blackAF, Ted Lasso and The Queens Gambit.  I did manage to avoid watching Tiger King, so I would call that a win

• I re-launched my attempt to learn German via Duolingo and gave it a solid effort for about two months

• My morning beverage of choice evolved from drip coffee to earl grey tea followed by Americanos and back to drip coffee

• And I learned how to make the perfect martini and cook a perfect turkey

When the pandemic first hit, Martin and I both embraced the shake up in the routine and chance to get out of the daily grind.  I don’t think we realized that the shake up in the routine would just lead to a new one.  I am ready to find a balance between the two options.