12 Week Reflection

As previously noted, I have continuously turned to my friends and family as a resource for various questions and help.  I am always amazed that at times these women could provide such detailed insights and at the same time not remember key details or events.   And now just 12 weeks a mom, I understand…. Just yesterday a mom of a four week old baby in our Mommy Group asked for advice and I honestly couldn’t remember what it was like having a 4 week old… and that was only 8 weeks ago!  So in an effort to save the memories for when Oskar is older, here is what I can remember so far:

Breastfeeding was hard at first and around 4 weeks became incredibly easy.  Those first few days and weeks were like preparing for battle.  Each morning I would organize the daily supplies both on the couch and in the bedroom including two full water bottles, the phone charger, TV remote, snacks, more water, boppy, and a swaddle.  Everything had to be laid out ahead of time so I was ready when he was hungry… Which felt like all of the time.  

Night feedings were especially challenging logistically.  In the first two weeks, I spent so much time just trying to get him to wake up and be alert enough to eat that by the time he was in position and ready to go, he was back asleep which required efforts from both me and Martin to keep him awake.  It also didn’t help that I needed full light to see what was going on… so in an effort to let Martin sleep, I began each night feeding in those early days by moving Oskar and I to the couch which defeated the purpose of the co-sleeper Martin built him.  Thankfully the process evolved and soon we were doing night feedings in bed with the lights on (sorry Martin) which transitioned into just a bedside table lamp, then the light of my iPhone and finally now, no light is required.

I was so afraid of starving Oskar that anytime he made a noise or appeared to get fussy, I immediately assumed he was hungry.  As the primary provider of food, I wanted to make sure I was doing my part, (and to be completely honest, I was afraid of him crying)… on the other hand with Martin being solely responsible for diapers in those early weeks, any fuss or cry and Martin would assume Oskar either had gas or needed a diaper change.  On one crazy night at 8 weeks, this conflict of interest resulted in Martin handing me a purple faced Oskar wearing nothing but socks…halfway through the diaper change, Martin gave up and handed Oskar to me to comfort through food.

For diaper changes, we had no idea what we were doing.  Each diaper change resulted in pee on the wall and each poop required in a new outfit and some stain remover.  I think we washed the changing table cover at least daily and finally gave up on using one altogether.  I would truly hate to have a black light in our house CSI style… it would find everything covered in milk, spit up, pee and probably poop.  The diaper blowouts and spit up were probably the result of me overfeeding Oskar; but who really knows.    

Not only did Oskar eat all of the time, but I did as well.  I was hungry and thirsty all of the time in those first few weeks.  I made sure to have a bowl of nuts by the bed to snack on in the middle of the night and a large bottle of water to rehydrate throughout the day.  I have finally stopped eating in the middle of the night (my dentist is thankful for that) and Oskar and I now have a pretty consistent eating routine of every three hours. 

Overall I think we are doing well and I am curious and excited to see what the next 12 weeks bring.  And I suppose we have a few years to see if any permanent emotional damage has been caused by our mishaps.

Other key milestones included:

At 3 weeks, Oskar got his first real bath (yes we were a bit late to the game there) and we started laying down the foundation of a night time routine.  Unfortunately he also began grunting each morning from 2am to 7am so we stopped swaddling him at night to see if that helped… it didn’t. 

At 4 weeks, he was still on his own schedule or lack thereof so we had to cancel our anniversary brunch plans… instead of our annual meal at Foreign Cinema we opted for the local Original Joes.  He has since been back to Original Joes more times than I like to admit… I found something that works and we are sticking with it.

At 5 weeks, we enjoyed our first five hour stretch of sleep during the night!

At 6 weeks, Oskar stopped pooping at night which meant diaper changes were no longer required.  We invested in a box of 12 Hour diapers and Martin was able to stop changing diapers at night and in theory get a little more sleep… that was assuming Oskar wasn’t keeping us awake with his grunting.

At 7 weeks, Oskar was nothing but smiles and really began sleeping well at night

At 8 weeks we went to Germany and all hell broke loose in terms of progress

At 10 weeks, Oskar laughed out loud!  It was in response to my rendition of “Head Shoulders Knees and Toes” and I hope it was due to my funny faces rather than my vocal skills

At 11 weeks he began grasping for things and clasping his hands together.  And the grunting finally stopped!!  He still squirms and grunts a little in the morning but only enough to fart and then he falls back asleep

It is amazing how much he has changed in just a few weeks and I can’t wait to see how he progresses from here!

Wine Tasting in Dernau

While the trip back to Germany was to see friends and family, it was also our first family vacation with Oskar and probably the only one we will ever have without the constant reminder of work back at home (with me on maternity leave and Martin not checking work emails we were truly off the grid). So I insisted that the three of us take a mini-vacation for a few nights while in Germany.  Many ideas were thrown around, I wanted wine tasting somewhere warm, Martin wanted something close so his parents could join for a night and we both wanted something easy travel-wise (we had already travelled 12 hours by plane and 2 hours by car to get to his town).  So we landed on Dernau in the Ahr Valley. 

Famous for its wine, Dernau is a cute little German town nestled in a steep valley created by the Ahr River.  The region is known for their Rotweinwanderweg, or Red Wine Hiking Trail, that connects the various towns along the river with a hiking path/trail that runs through the vineyards.  Yes, you can literally walk from one town to the next on a valley-long wine tasting adventure… it was like the W-Trail in Patagonia, but for wine lovers.

I was sold.

We rented a tiny apartment near the center of town and made the village our home for 5 nights.  With Oskar’s early bed time routine and lingering jet lag (or possibly general overstimulation) we cooked dinners in most nights, and with our morning breakfasts of rolls and coffee, we quickly became known to both the local baker, the butcher and grocery store clerk. 

Our days were spent exploring the town and region, trying to stay dry with the ongoing rain (so much for warm weather) and doing a little wine tasting.  And I truly mean “tasting”…not what pre-baby Lisa used to call “tasting.”  Wine “tasting” pre-baby really meant wine “drinking” which was typically an all-day affair that resulted in a mid-day nap and an early evening hangover.  Post-baby wine tasting is actually closer to the original intention. 

On Thursday, we stopped by two wineries to taste the local wines (Weingut Schlosshof, the oldest winery in the region and Weingut Ernst Sebastian, picked for the name).  With Oskar in the stroller, Martin and I calmly sipped the wines and I took advantage of the wine bucket to pour out what I didn’t need (something that I would have considered sacrilegious just a year ago).  We made a few purchases at each winery and tucked the bottles into the bottom of the stroller (one of the biggest perks of wine tasting with a baby).  

On Friday, with the weather finally giving us a break and letting a little sun through, we ventured along the wine trail to the nearby town of Marienthal and old monastery turned winery and restaurant.  Oskar was strapped into the ErgoBaby and we walked the 30 minutes along the valley and through the vineyards to the historic old property.  We enjoyed our lunch of Pflannkuchen with two glasses of wine and our desserts with coffee and tea and then headed back to Dernau just as it began to sprinkle. 

Later that afternoon was the true test, or rather defining moment, of how much things have changed.  At the recommendation of our apartment owner, we stopped by one more winery/restaurant for one last taste of the local wines before heading to the store for dinner. Halfway through our full glass of wine (it was less a winery and more of a restaurant so I ended up with a full glass) it started to rain.  Not a downpour, but definitely enough that we were going to get wet.  Our old selves would have ordered another glass of wine to wait out the rain, which would have normally turned into ordering a snack followed by more wine and eventually dinner… it was a really cute restaurant and I could have stayed all night.   But responsibility kicked in and we didn’t order that second glass of wine.  Instead, we covered up Oskar’s stroller with a swaddle and braved the rain long enough to grab stuff for dinner and get Oskar home in time for his bedtime routine.

Looks like we will need to head back when Oskar is a little older to properly enjoy wine “tasting” in Dernau. 

Have Baby, Will Travel

Before Oskar was even born, we knew he was going to be a traveler… if he was going to be a good traveler or bad traveler was still to be determined.  And within the first 2 months of his life, we put him to the test.   We started off easy with a trip to Dunsmuir and a trip to Pillsbury.  But nothing could prepare him (or us) for the big trip; a two week trip home to Germany at the end of July to meet his German friends and family.   

I did all of the research on how to best travel with a baby, the whole family took the trip to Hunters Point to get his passport and I made a few last minute purchases to ensure we were equipped with all of the gear… but Oskar was the wild card and anything could happen.  And thankfully, true to his name, he was a Champ! 

The flight to Germany was a breeze, with Oskar sleeping the entire time, waking up only to eat and have his diaper changed.  And he continued to sleep during the 2 hour car ride back to Martin’s home.   The flight home was a little less stellar, with Oskar being a little crankier.  But thankfully the flight was smooth and Martin was able to walk the aisles with him to calm him down.  In order to give Martin a rest we did break down and gave Oskar a pacifier to help him sleep (It was a onetime thing only and he hasn’t had it since).

In between the two flights Oskar adjusted relatively well with only minor jet lag… it helps that he wasn’t sleeping through the night anyways.  The first few nights he woke up wide awake at 3am crying and wanting to play; so we ended up turning on the lights and hanging out for an hour before getting him back to sleep.    During the day he was a little more tired than usual, but that could also be due to the extra stimulation of so many people wanting to meet him.   He eventually got the hang of the new time zone and was back to his normal routine after three or four days.  In the meantime, it was nice having Oskar around as it allowed me the option of day time naps and an early bedtime…both signs of weakness in the Breuer household but somewhat allowable given the circumstances.

Traveling with a baby is definitely a different experience.  Gone are the days of carry-on luggage only and breezing through the airport just a few minutes before the flight. We packed everything Oskar owned including clothing, towels, diapers, car seat, stroller, Mobi Wrap, etc. You name it we packed it.  And the crazy thing is we used all of it.  I can only imagine this gets worse, the older he gets, with us eventually requiring a small shipping container to get everything from point A to point B.   

Below is a photo of us and all of our stuff arriving in Germany and below is my cheat sheet / brain dump I sent to a mommy friend who is embarking on the same intercontinental flight shortly to help her prepare (and for me for future reference). 

Great to meet you on Wednesday!  And happy to share some advice on traveling with the little one!  Below is my brain dump (which is probably way too much information, but it can't hurt right?).  

We checked two bags for our 2 week trip to Germany.  My husband and I shared a bag and we had a separate bag for Oskar.  We figured two bags would be all we could manage in addition to the stroller and carry on stuff.  We packed pretty much all of his clothes that he owns and then some.  We did laundry about every four days but that is generally our approach while at home as well

For our carry on we had our stroller and car seat (which we gate checked) and then I had the diaper bag and my husband brought a backpack. 

With us on the flight we had the following baby related stuff (in addition to the normal diaper bag stuff):

1. Enough diapers for 36 hours (or about 12 diapers for us).  Even though the flight is only 12 hours, if you factor in the transportation to the airport and then on the ground in Europe, we were traveling for about 24 hours.   
2. 3 outfits for Oskar and one change of clothes for my husband and I (we ended up going through 2 of the 3 outfits for Oskar and thankfully didn't need our change)
3. 2 Swaddles
4. Pacifier (he actually doesn't use one, but we brought one just in case... he ended up using it on the flight home to help him sleep)
5. Water Bottle - the flight attendants were really great about refilling my 750 ml water bottle so I wouldn't get dehydrated
6. 3 Ziploc baggies (for dirty clothes, etc).
7. 1 rattle and 1 book (for entertainment)
8. Moby wrap and his Ergo Baby 360 - My husband used the Ergo Baby to board the plane with Oskar while I folded down the stroller and put the car seat and stroller in the gate check bags and onto the jet bridge (I highly recommend the gate check bags...they are bright red and available on Amazon).  The Moby wrap was super helpful throughout the trip since Oskar's jet lag made him more clingy during the day than normal
9. My breast pump (I could have put this in our checked bag, but didn't trust the airline to not lose our luggage).  We give Oskar one bottle a day and having the pump allowed me to continue this process while traveling.  I have the Medela Freestyle and didn't need to charge it once during the two weeks!  As a heads up, I believe the Freestyle pump is the only one that works with 220 voltage, so double check if you plan to bring your pump.
10. I wish I had packed disinfectant wipes for the airplane's bassinet but forgot to pack them.  We ended up putting a swaddled down for him to lay on but I would have loved to wipe down the sides.

For the checked luggage, we packed his medicine bag (which includes his nail file, nose bubble thing, thermometer and infant Tylenol).  We thankfully didn't need any of those items other than the file (his nails grow so fast!), but it was nice to not have to worry about finding the alternatives in Germany.  We also packed a few extra swaddles for him to play on at our destination and an additional 24 hours’ worth of diapers and wipes (We had my mother in law buy diapers and wipes for us ahead of time so they were at the house waiting for us). We also checked his baby shampoo, baby sunscreen and baby bug repellent along with a few small washcloths for bath time.  

For travel gear: we bought the Phil and Ted's Travel Crib and have used it a few times for weekend trips.  It is super lightweight, packs up really small and is easy to put together.   This crib has been great and will get us through the next 2-3 years.  However we ended up borrowing our friend's Phil and Ted's Travel Bassinet for the trip to Germany.  And this thing rocked!  It is a hard bottomed bassinet with collapsible sides.  It was super portable (the hard bottom meant we could take it outside) and we moved it around the various houses we stayed at for both naps and bedtime.  The best part about the bassinet is it comes in a travel case with two compartments (1 for the bassinet and then one for all of the baby's stuff).  While it won't work for long (which is why we bought the crib instead) it was great to have and I kind of wish we bought one for baby #2 (if that happens). 

We also bought a travel stroller last minute since I was afraid of having our proper one beat up on the flight.  We ended up with the Mountain Buggy Nano based on the reviews for a travel stroller that works for both kids and infants (you can attach a car seat to it).  I literally bought this two days before our flight and am so glad I did.  It packs up tiny, is super lightweight and will grow with Oskar.    It isn't a single step to click in the car seat but definitely easy to use. 

What else!

Oskar was great on the flight over.  I fed him on takeoff and landing to help clear his ears.  I didn't time it perfectly (I forgot that the time on the ticket is when the doors are closed, not when the wheels are up) so Oskar was a little more hungry/cranky during taxiing to take off than I would have liked and I know for next time to allow for the extra 30 -60 minute buffer. 

Okay, this is seriously way too much and way more than you were asking for!!  So sorry!! Hopefully at least some of it helps.  In the end, once I gave up the battle and decided to check luggage, it was much easier than I thought.