I Suppose It Could Have Been Worse

After my 5 nights in Bend followed by 11 nights of quarantine waiting for a negative test, which also included 6 days of school missed for the kids, I can confidently say Martin is unmatched in his fatherly commitment and capabilities. The man was stoic through it all. So when he said he was canceling his trip to Europe to see his best friend (scheduled to start just 4 days after my release) I was heartbroken. The trip was originally planned for May 2020 and was finally rescheduled after so many conflicts and obstacles. Knowing how sacred my trips with the girls are to me, I wanted and needed Martin to do this for himself. He needed a break, a chance to recharge and catch up with his best friend.

But alas I couldn’t convince him otherwise. And selfishly, he made the right decisions. It could have been a lot worse if he had gone.

Let’s just do a quick recap of the last few days.

Wednesday afternoon we got the dreaded phone call that Alva had close contact with someone at school and since she isn’t vaccinated she would have to stay home until Tuesday the following week. By Wednesday evening, three more cases had been confirmed between Alva and Oskar’s classes which constituted an outbreak so both classes were officially cancelled until Tuesday. It could have been worse though if Martin wasn’t around… this week and next are the busiest for me at work and while I could have made it work, having the tag team efforts was a huge relief. Three Covid tests later and Martin Oskar and Alva were negative.

Thursday evening Alva barely ate dinner and was ready to go to bed before 7pm. One Covid test and an immediate second line confirmed Alva had tested positive; Oskar and Martin were still negative. Everyone masked up while I packed up clothes, books and toiletries for me and Alva… we were moving downstairs until she tested negative. But it could have been worse. If Martin was gone I would have stayed upstairs and continued to expose Oskar to Covid.

Friday Oskar and Martin still tested negative and I shirked off work. Alva and I spent the day watching TV, snuggling on the couch and napping. Friday night Oskar and Martin picked up sushi and delivered some to our back door.

Saturday morning Martin woke up a little achy but still tested negative. Things got worse for him that morning though and, a doctor administered Covid test that afternoon confirmed he was positive; Oskar was still negative. When they got home we did the apartment shuffle. I packed up my stuff and moved upstairs to the Covid free zone while Martin moved in with Alva. I cooked dinner and delivered it to the patients downstairs.

Sunday morning Oskar seemed fine but sure as shit when we took the daily test for Oskar that dreaded second pink line showed up ever so faintly. I say dreaded because no one wants Covid, but in reality I was kind of relieved. At least now the clock starts for us to be done. But it could have been worse? We were now all together again. Oskar and Alva were super excited to see each other again (for about 30 minutes) and the TV watching marathon has continued.

One month later - coffee and Legos

It has been exactly one month since our epic road trip and there are two memories that I just can’t shake but somehow managed not to write about in all of the blogs.

I suppose 10 days of quarantine will give you plenty of time to think, especially about the last time you were really together with your family.

Coffee: I can’t remember how it started but I appreciated it every day thereafter. While in the hotel room on Bakersfield, the kids discovered the coffee maker and individual pods. After some clambering about who got to go first, both kids had learned the three simple steps of making coffee in hotels. And Martin and I were 100% the willing and eager beneficiaries of this new found talent of theirs. From Bakersfield onwards, I was treated to hot coffee in bed at each and every hotel room. And it was amazing. I don’t think I truly appreciated it until Mother Day’s rolled around and I realized this could have been my year (the first of many I had hoped) of coffee in bed.

My Lego Set: The other random memory of the trip was the Lego set I bought for myself while at LEGOLAND. Of all the things I purchased on the trip this was the one I was most excited about. And of course it was also the only purchase and, actually the only item in total, throughout the whole trip, that was lost along the way. While Oskar and Martin were on the big roller coaster Alva and I headed to the Lego store to pick out her coin purse and to keep her mind off the disappointment of being too small for some of the rides. Being the marketer’s dream that I am, I made a last minute impulse purchase of a small jeep Lego set that was less than 50 pieces and within arm’s reach of the cashier line. Shortly thereafter we found ourselves back at the hotel room for quiet time. Oskar had already dug into his Lego box to begin his hovercraft and Alva was playing with my bag of Legos. Before I knew it Alva and Martin were putting together my new purchase. Despite my desire to grab my new toy away and refuse to share, I took two deep breathes and made myself become okay with the situation. I mean I am a grown adult, my child wants to play with the new toy and I had plenty of time to take it apart and put it back together while at my desk at home. Oh if only I had known. Somehow in the shuffle of packing and unpacking between all of the various stops and visits the jeep didn’t make it back to SF. So my impulse buy has turned into an obsession to find and replace my lost toy.

Mother’s Day

What an odd Mother’s Day it was this year. After 7 days in quarantine and feeling 100% fine (minus the smokers cough that still persists today) it was weird to spend the day alone doing things that felt very oddly what my life was like pre-kids and pre-Martin. I woke up late and laid in bed for an hour reading my most recent book (short stories by Russian authors). I read my Sunday newspaper while drinking coffee that was hot instead of warm and ate cold leftover pizza for breakfast. I laid on the couch and watched some terrible TV and can’t even remember what I had for dinner (most likely left over Indian food).

It felt like I had taken a time capsule back to 2007 and my pre-Switzerland days in my studio apartment that I loved.

Thankfully there were some incredible reminders of my life as a mom. The kids each wrote me a card and left them for me before they left for Timber Cove (with Oskar’s clearly stating do not open until Mother’s Day). Martin had flowers delivered while they were gone and by that afternoon they were home and thundering around upstairs like elephants on a rampage. Even though I couldn’t hug them or kiss them, just hearing them laugh and run around was all I needed.

Bend (and Snap)

Before most solo trips, my anxiety kicks in and I imagine all of the ways the trip can go sideways and reasons why I won’t make it back home to the kids and Martin. From tragic to trivial, my head runs through all likely (and unlikely) worst case scenarios before I finally shut down the mental hurricane and actually leave. And 99 times out of a 100, the trip ends up totally fun and my irrational fears are quieted for the next time.

Unfortunately for me, my trip to Bend was that 1 out of 100 where I probably should have listened to my gut.

Like always, I was feeling anxious about my upcoming trip. Even the night before I left it seemed surreal that I was going. I chalked it up to my nerves and the fact that we had just gotten home from our two week road trip which I was still processing.  But hey, I had been here before. Just a little nervous energy and excitement.

Once I got to Bend (I flew up Wednesday morning) my head shifted to enjoying every minute with Cody and Brenda. While I had just been to Bend with the family in October, everything about this trip was different. They picked me up at the airport, we had an incredible lunch at Wild Rose Thai, we had a soak in their new hot tub, we got drinks at a fancy bar in town and we then had the best meal of my recent life at Bos Toros, one of the restaurants in the group Cody works at. I know I am one to exaggerate, but this meal was everything. It was decadent yet casual. Deliciously new yet approachable. It also didn’t hurt that it was Cody’s birthday dinner, so we got complimentary champagne and wagyu beef, the chef stopped by to say hello and we had the best table in the house.

Thursday morning Cody had to work, I had to work and Brenda had to run errands so I spent most of the morning alone at their house getting through my emails and a few meetings before Shannon and Anna arrived that afternoon. I said goodbye to Cody and Brenda around 2 and packed it up and made my way to our hotel McMenimans downtown to meet up with the girls for the rest of the weekend.

Within a hour of their arrival it was like no time had passed since we first met in Zurich nearly 15 years ago and four years since we were last together. Yes, we had a few more kids between us, a new significant other, new jobs, new homes and a few more wrinkles and grey hairs, but the core of the friendship is still strong. I guess that is what you get after experiencing such a life changing event together like living abroad

The weekend flew by between brunches, shopping, drinks and our traditional sushi dinner. And we had one more thing to celebrate, Shannon’s engagement to her longtime boyfriend. We also got to meet and spend time with a few of Shannon’s friends from home who came down to celebrate her engagement as well.

We left Sunday midday and like all previous trips all was right in the world and my anxiety and fears were unfounded …Until they weren’t. By Sunday night the tickle in my throat I had thought was the result of smoke from an outdoor fire pit became a little more scratchy. The chills I thought were just due to being tired from the five days of drinking and not sleeping became a little more aggressive. And while the Covid test I took that Sunday afternoon said negative something continued to nag at me. I wore a mask during the two hours that evening with the kids and slept in the couch hoping to feel better in the morning. And while I did feel better that Monday morning the Covid came back positive. After two years of avoiding the plague, I had managed to somehow catch it during my trip.

It could have been from any number of places: the unmasked passengers on the plane there and back, the kid who threw up behind me on the flight to Bend, my Uber drive to the hotel, the two loud drunk guys sitting next to us at the fire pit who managed to both slur and over-annunciate every third word they yelled or it could have been any of the numerous casual encounters with waiters, people on the street or shop attendants. Unfortunately I will never know. The good news is that no one else got sick including Cody, Brenda, the girls and my family at home.

The bad news, I had Covid and Martin was officially on parent duty for another few days… 10 more days to be exact.