SAHM

These past 3 months I have been living the life of a SAHM, or Stay At Home Mom, for those not up to speed on their mommy acronyms.  (To be fair, it took me all three months on the various blogs and websites to decipher the acronyms and I still don’t know them all: LO = Little One, STTN = Sleep Through the Night, EBF= Exclusively Breast Fed, FTM = First Time Mom, DD = Dirty Diaper, and DH = I still have no idea).

But I digress, this post is not about acronyms, but my time being a stay at home mom, especially since I am heading back to work in two weeks and Oskar is heading to daycare tomorrow.  Trying to articulate the internal battle of wanting to work vs. wanting to spend every hour with Oskar all the while knowing that I will be a better and more present mom if I can work and knowing Oskar will do great being around other kids in a more structured environment is not even possible.  I have yet to fully understand all of these emotions let alone be able to describe them.  So instead, I want to pay tribute to the group of women I have met these past few months being a stay at home mom. 

I was warned that having a baby can be very lonely in those first few months, so I made every effort to leave the house and get engaged in the community.  Before Oskar was even two weeks old I ventured out of the house and down the street to Carmel Blue for their weekly Mommy and Me play group.  Designed for parents and babies under 6 months old, this weekly meet up became my touch point for the week to interact with other new moms and share stories and advice to make me feel saner. It was through this group that I met some amazing women that parlayed into “mommy and me yoga” and me hosting my own playdate at our house (complete with champagne for the moms…I may have changed, but I am still me).

Through Carmel Blue I was also able to learn about various other activities in the neighborhood to keep Oskar and my days’ occupied.   We are in the process of learning sign language, how to introduce foods to your baby (so we will be ready when the time comes) and I will be taking a sleep training class here shortly. 

Prior to having a baby, I never realized how baby-friendly our neighborhood and San Francisco overall is.  It is amazing how many things there are to do both locally in North Beach as well as throughout the city with a baby under 6 months old.  There is enough each day to get us out of the house and socializing with other moms and babies, so much that we didn’t get around to doing everything!

And so while I know going back to work is a good thing (and required), I could easily imagine myself being a SAHM. 

Two of Oskar's future class mates at Tel Hi... Franny and Rory

Playdate at our house with Rory, Micah and Jack

Mommy and Me Yoga with Yulia, Roxanne, Annabelle and Elisa!

Hypocrite or Better Informed

Two years ago, Martin and I celebrated our one year anniversary (of our second wedding) with a dinner at Foreign Cinema.   While eating dinner I commented about a nearby table and the fact that they had brought their toddler, who must have been no more than 2 years old, to dinner. The comment led to a heated conversation about children and when and where it is appropriate to take them.  I was adamant that a fancy dinner at Foreign Cinema was not necessarily the best place for a toddler (for the parents of the child, other guests that might be distracted by any crying and the wait staff that may have to worry about bumping into a child while carrying plates of hot food).  Martin disagreed and thought children should be welcome anywhere.

With time comes maturity and experience… Martin has now rescinded his stance and agrees that there may be more child friendly restaurants.  And this past weekend, I had to eat my words as we took Oskar to Foreign Cinema for our annual anniversary celebration.

Acknowledging dinner would not be the best option, we instead celebrated with an early brunch in their famous courtyard, where Martin and I said “I Do” for the second time.  Looking around, I noticed not only the rowdy group of girls enjoying their boozy Saturday brunch (aka my old crowd), but also two other tables with kids and strollers!   So while I may be a hypocrite, I feel better informed that brunches with babies at nice restaurants might not always be a terrible idea.    

Swim Class

I like to tell the story that I could swim before I could walk and I competed in my first swim race at age 3 (ok, maybe 4).  So to me, it was a given that Oskar would learn to swim early in his life.  And even better, Martin was on the same page.  Before Oskar was even born, Martin had researched swim classes for babies in San Francisco and we had found our match – La Petit Baleen in the Presidio.  It took a few tries online to find a class with availability that worked with our schedule, but we finally were able to sign up for a class on Saturdays! 

To be expected, Oskar was a champ.  There are three other kids in the class and Oskar is by far the youngest.  While he still doesn’t laugh or smile during the 30 minutes in the pool, he doesn’t cry either which I would deem a success (especially after talking with the other parents whose own kids didn’t fare so well the first few times). 

The class involves singing songs and splashing water, floating on his back through a tunnel (I couldn’t help but think of a ride at Disneyland), floating in “tug boats” made up of swim noodles, “jumping” off the side of the pool into the water and sliding down a mat into the water on a “raft”.

Below are a few photos from his first class as well as the following weeks, when I was able to swim with him.