Oh the Shit You Will Pack

As previously mentioned, I got bored over Thanksgiving weekend and wrote a children's book for adults about all of the shit you have to pack when travelling.  A parody of Dr. Seuss’s Oh, the Places You’ll Go! if you will.  I submitted the book six months ago in hopes of getting it published. Unfortunately they weren't interested, so instead of attempting to find another publisher, I thought I would share with the world via my blog.  

I hope you enjoy it!

Oh the Shit You Will Pack

So you’re off on vacation, hip hip hooray! 

Pack up your bag and you‘re on your way

Call a taxi, take your car or hop on the bus
Nothing can stop your wanderlust

Breeze through the airport and stop for coffee
No lines for you and your TSA Pre

But wait what is this, you have children you say?
It is no longer that easy to get away

So I’m sorry to tell you, I take it all back
Here is a short list of all the shit you will pack

The stroller, the diaper bag, the child’s car seat
Their pajamas, the crib, don’t forget the crib sheet

Their lovie, their binkie and a few extra swaddles
Their bib, baby formula and a set of glass bottles

Don’t forget to pack clothes, some socks and some shoes
An assembly of outfits for the vacation you choose

Then pack a few extras and multiply it by three

They require more outfits than an awards show emcee

Hooded towel, travel tub, toothbrush and toothpaste
Better wrap up this packing, get going, make haste

Baby monitor, high chair and a few plastic baggies
Some for wet clothes and all of their soiled nappies

Diapers, wet wipes and organic butt cream
A thermometer, Tylenol, and baby sunscreen

Band aids, nose Frida, the nebulizer
Disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizer

Sunhat, swim diapers, mittens, or warm jacket
If ever in doubt say fuck it and pack it

Is this vacation even worth it, you might ask
After making a list all of the shit you will pack

That one favorite shirt that you didn’t know he liked
Might as well pack it, no need for a fight

Shampoo, baby carrier, picture books by the stack

Is there anything in your house you haven’t yet packed? 

Bottle warmer, sound machine

That all too important thing a ma jing

Toys for the plane, toys for the car
Pack too few and you won’t get far

Pack enough snacks to feed a small army
Better to be safe than hungry and sorry

A bottle of wine to help you relax
I’m already exhausted by all the shit we’ve packed

Have more than one? Multiply this by two
It doesn’t get easier just a bigger ado

Do you have everything? Now stop and think
Oh what the hell, might as well pack the sink

One bag, two bag, three bag, four
Fingers crossed you still fit through the door

Out to the car and the puzzle begins

How will you fit all of the shit you’ve packed in

Start with the trunk, now it barely closes

The rest at your feet and up to your noses

How does such a small child take up so much car space

Your old ways of traveling have left without trace

Go for one month, a week or a day
The shit you will pack always remains the same

Traveling alone doesn’t mean you’re shit free
You will still pack your guilt and a little anxiety

Leaving your child at home while you travel
Surely in your absence the house will unravel

But even with all of the shit you will pack
There is always one thing that you can count on for fact

And that is the love of your little world traveler
Because travel is the true gift of a life spectacular

They will one day appreciate all that you do
When they have their own kids and have to pack for them too

So until you discover a much needed life hack
On how to avoid all of the shit you will pack

Learn to love the chaos and try to remain strong
And enjoy these moments, they will soon be gone

The 20 Hour Trek

This June, my mother-in-law turned 80 years old. And to celebrate, she rented a house on the beach for a one week family vacation. Which sounds amazing, and it really was, but the initial plan took some convincing. The beach town of Zingst is on the east coast of Germany... a good 5 hour drive (as adjusted for kids) and a 15 hour non-direct flight from San Francisco. In comparison to our beach house last year which was 20 minutes away from our 10 hour direct flight to Amsterdam, I was not so amused.

Unwilling to put the kids through the travel ringer, we opted to break up the trip with two nights in Berlin upon arrival and one more night in Berlin before our flight home. In hindsight, the decision to have two nights alone upon arrival was genius. It gave us 48 hours to get adjusted to the time difference (or at least more adjusted than usual) before any obligations, schedules or excited family members wanting to hang out and spend every moment with you immediately upon landing. Below are our stories, but first we had to get there.

Three Blocks Away and a Lifetime Ago

On our final night in Germany, Martin booked us a hotel in a Berlin neighborhood that was recommended by a fellow German parent. On the drive back into town I googled nearby playgrounds (because that is what we do now) and came across three options. After dropping off our bags at the hotel we set out for the first option: Spielplatz Knesebeckstrasse.

One block on our way there and I began to get the feeling we had been here before... the neighborhood that is, not the playground. There was something familiar about the elevated railroad tracks, with its arched brick buildings below... and what were the odds of finding a cafe next to a bookstore in this stretch of town? I was remembering Martin and my first trip to Berlin and our afternoon of homemade strudel and the amazing book store with the ridiculous garden gnome book (which I now read with Oskar). And sure enough, after 10 years of never knowing where the cafe or store were actually located, we stumbled upon them on our search for a playground for our two kids.

It wasn’t until we got home that I fully comprehended the situation. 10 years ago, Martin and I (with the newness of love, the excitement of dating a European and the looming question of could we make the relationship work long distance and into the future) had an amazing weekend in Berlin and stayed in a hotel just three blocks away from our hotel this past weekend.

And now here we were with our two beautiful kids and a lifetime of memories already created.

Young and in love in March 2009

Exhausted but filled with love in June 2019

Zingst

Did you know that Zingst and the surrounding area of Mecklenburg-Pomeranie in Germany is the most popular vacation spot in Germany?! More so than Munich? I did not. And it is these statements, among many that I have heard over the years that make it hard for me to believe my father-in-law when he rattles off some unknown fact. When I pressed him for details, like is it the most popular for Germans, Europeans or everyone I couldn’t get a clear answer. So I took to google and confirmed: The area of Mecklenburg-Pomeranie, known for its beach resorts, is a very popular destination for Germans.

And yes while it was a full twenty hour trek to get there, and the weather when we arrived did not immediately bring to mind beach weather (raining, windy and cold), it was a really nice week. Below are some of the highlights in photos.

Our first full day there... it was cold and windy and we were the only ones on the beach.  All I could think was "my in-laws are crazy if this is their idea of a beach vacation" 

The weather improved the rest of the trip and the crowds arrived on the beach

Oskar learned how to fly a kite!

The highlight of the trip for Oskar... flying in both the police and fire helicopters at the harbor festival 

Alva taking in the sun... in the shade

Maybe a little too much fun in the sun...

Fun times at the house

Until next time Zingst

The Mother of all Playgrounds

I can guarantee our two day agenda for Berlin was I like no one else’s. We opted for an Airbnb apartment in the northern part of the city to be close to our friend Anna and Tim and close to a few attractions that we might want to check out. No I am not referring to Brandenburg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie or the Berlin Wall or even referring to the newest neighborhood with the hottest new restaurants and bars. I was referring to a few highlights in the top 15 places to go with a toddler in Berlin. Because yup, that is our life now. 

At the top of the list, due to its close proximity to our apartment and the rave reviews was Kinderbauernhof Pinke-Panke.  And similar to the goats of Amsterdam, the research and recommendations were spot on.
It was a combination of the goats from Amsterdam, Little Farm at Tilden Park, a working farm, and the playground of misfit toys from SF all with the feel of a 1960’s hippie commune.

There were animals to pet and see, gardens to visit, workshops to learn skills such as carpentry (at the kids level), sandboxes with countless toys, trucks and tricycles to ride, and kids running through the sprinklers naked and playing in the mud.

It was so amazing we spent both days in Berlin there.

As an aside, I realized I never posted about the awesome playground in SF that had not only the normal play structures, but also old plastic cars, trains and tables for kids to play with.