Books of 2024

40 books this year... still shy of the ultimate goal of 52!  

Birnam Wood, Eleanor Catton
Tom Lake, Ann Patchett
SPQR, A History of Ancient Rome, Mary Beard
Holly, Stephen King
The Book of Lost Names, Kristin Harmel
Killers of the Flower Moon, David Grann
The Best Minds, Jonathan Rosen
The Blackouts, Justin Torres
Remarkably Bright Creatures, Shelby Van Pelt
The Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life, William Finnegan
Yellowface, R. F. Kuang
Some People Need Killing. Patricia Evangelista
I Am Homeless If This Is Not My Home, Lorrie Moore
Lightning Rods, Helen DeWitt
Guns of August, Barbara W. Tuchman
Erasure, Percival Everett
Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel
Piglet, Lottie Hazell
Private Citizens, Tony Tulathimutte
Bottoms Up and the Devil Laughs, Kerry Howley
James, Percival Everett
From Cradle to Stage: Stories from the Mothers Who Rocked and Raised Rock Stars, Virginia Grohl
Scrublands, Chris Hammer
Heaven and Earth Grocery Store, James McBride
The Margot Affair, Sanaë Lemoine
Icebreakers, Hannah Grace
The Fraud, Zadie Smith
Be the Boss Everyone Wants to Work For, William Gentry
The Paris Apartment, Lucy Foley
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers
The Searcher, Tana French
North Woods, Daniel Mason
Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow
All the Worst Humans: How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons and Politicians, Phil Elwood
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, Gabrielle Zevin
Just For The Summer, Abby Jimenez
Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver
Yours Truly, Abby Jimenez
Creation Lake, Rachel Kushner
Triumph of the Yuppies: America, the Eighties, and the Creation of an Unequal Nation, Tom McGrath

Christmas Traditions….old, new and different

Family traditions are a weird thing. In your childhood they aren’t even traditions, just universal facts and norms. Like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes to go outside, learning addition, and the changing of the seasons. Family traditions were just how things are done. 

They change over time as you grow up. At a certain point in your life you learn who to thank for Santa’s gift under the tree.  You start buying presents for your siblings. And holiday meals may evolve like a progressive dinner: from the full Christmas dinner at your grandparent’s house when you are a child, to picking up your grandparents at the condo for dinner at your parent’s house when you are in college and then finally if you are lucky, an afternoon snack with your Granny at her assisted living apartment. 

Traditions change again when you meet your significant other; someone you are willing to share a holiday with, and you discuss, navigate and negotiate a way to merge your traditions with theirs. And during this process you discover just how different but alike your upbringings were: one formal, one loud and hectic, but both filled with family and love. 

You compromise by sharing the time and making a single celebration work across different continents (choosing to celebrate on a random date when it isn’t your year to be at “home”) 

Then you have kids and everything changes. You want to create the same level of magic you had growing up, give them the same memories you look back on so fondly, make their childhood just as amazing as you can. Priorities shift. New traditions are created. And pretty soon the holidays have a new rhythm to them, a new setting, a new soul. 

And it isn’t until forces outside of your own family change the plans and make you realize how established your new family traditions have become as a blended and merged and growing family. 

Since we got married Christmas has rotated between Germany and California with either Christmas Day with both families in California or Christmas Day with Martin's family in Germany and a fake Christmas with my family on a date either before or after that worked best for everyone else. Family members on my side (Cody and Brenda, Dana and family, cousins, aunts and uncles, local friends and neighbors) would join or not depending on the year and when we celebrated.  

However, for the past 12 years, the arrival of Christmas has been consistently marked by the arrival of the Germans. That is until this year. This year, the Germans didn’t arrive and we didn’t go to Germany. 

So I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the lead up to Christmas Eve didn’t quite feel like Christmas. True we did the normal activities (symphony, nutcracker, cookie making) and had the normal things to look forward to (crab and raviolis, Christmas crackers, ice cream snowballs, and dim sum on Boxing Day) but even in the years when we went to Germany we would also do those things either before leaving or had them planned for when we got back.  

It wasn’t until the day before Christmas Eve, when all of the activities were gone, and the Germans still weren’t around that I realized what was missing and what was making me bah humbug. 

There was a brief moment where I thought to hell with any of the traditions. Let’s do something completely crazy and new since his parents weren’t around. Indian food for Christmas Eve? Mini-Golf instead of church? Fly to Mexico? If we didn’t have one tradition, why have any right? 

Martin thankfully reeled in my crazy and insisted we go to the same church as always. And with that one event, the holidays were reset back to normal. The three days were perfect and somewhat more relaxing and less crazy than normal, with more connections and quality time with my parents. 

So yes, it was different and my normal cue to signal the start of the holidays was missing, but it was also really nice. And I am thankful for the memories the kids got to have with my parents.

Pre Christmas Celebrations:

The Nutcracker

Cookie Baking

Deck the Halls at the SF Symphony

Decorating the Tree

And Christmas Day(s) Celebrations: 

Christmas Eve at the Scandinavian Seaman Church

Christmas Eve Dinner in SF

Christmas Crackers and Snowballs in Lafayette

Dim Sum on Boxing Day

Alva and Oskar couldn't get enough of the Har Gau

And in a nod to my craziness from earlier in the week, we did end up doing something new and different... Mini Golf on Boxing Day!

Christmas Joy

Oskar wanted a Nintendo Switch (average price $400), Alva wanted a bear shaped lip balm (average price $3.50). 

Afraid of a repeat from Christmas Past I felt the need to confirm Alva’s wish and ensure she didn’t want anything bigger. However when asked if she wanted anything else she couldn’t think of anything. She was super stoked about this lip balm. 

Fast forward a few weeks. I told Oskar the Switch might not happen since Santa needs to check with the parents before a present is given (and we weren’t 100% sure). He took it in stride and said was happy to have just Pokemon cards since the other present idea (a Lego set) was too expensive (it was $90). 

After many discussions with Martin on the merits and pitfalls of buying the Switch, I went ahead and bought it. Not for Oskar from Santa…It was going to be a present for the entire family from me and Martin. Because: 1) I wanted to ensure it would be shared between the two kids and 2) why does some random dude in red who only shows up once a year get all of the credit for giving the big presents. 

I had it planned. I would keep the Switch hidden and once all of the presents were opened I would do the whole “what’s that over there, it looks like we might have missed one” ala Ralphie’s BB gun present in A Christmas Story. The aim was to allow them time to enjoy the normal presents before bringing out the piece de resistance. 

Christmas morning arrived. The kids opened their presents and were so excited about everything. Whether pretending or not, Oskar was pumped for his Pokemon cards from Santa and Alva couldn’t get over the fact that she got two presents from him including her wished-for bear lip balm and a Hermione stuffie.  There was no mention about not getting the Switch from Santa, not even a beat was missed. 

The crowning moment was when Oskar opened up the big present from Martin and I. The Lego Space Station 3-1 roller coaster that he really wanted but said it was probably too much for Santa. He said it was the best present he had ever received and then he proceeded to open it up and build the entire thing for the next two hours. Side note: he told me that I specifically give the best presents. I had to remind him the legos were from both me and Martin. Mama for the win! 

And the Switch present secretly hidden in the corner waiting to be “discovered” was never brought out. They were having too much fun to ruin the Christmas magic with a video game. They have plenty of years to come when that is all that they want. For now, we will let them enjoy the smaller things. And if and when they ask for a Switch again, I am more than happy to revisit the decision and maybe buy it again.

Side Note 2: Mom Dilemma; the Switch was going to be the present to save Christmas in case Oskar was disappointed that he didn’t get it. He wasn’t disappointed at all and was genuinely happy with what he got. So in theory I was going to reward him for not being grateful. Instead, he was incredibly grateful for what he got and so I am not giving him the present? Is that bad? 

Final Memory: Alva went to bed Christmas night hugging her new stuffed toy and Oskar woke up  at sunrise on Boxing Day to play with the Lego coaster and to organize his Pokemon cards in his new Pokemon binder.

Cousin Fun

After a few missed years, we reunited the second cousins for some Thanksgiving fun up at Dunsmuir.