The Gimbel Way of Life: Christmas Traditions….old, new and different

Family traditions are a weird thing. In your childhood they aren’t even traditions, just universal facts and norms. Like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes to go outside, learning addition, and the changing of the seasons. Family traditions were just how things are done.

They change over time as you grow up. At a certain point in your life you learn who to thank for Santa’s gift under the tree. You start buying presents for your siblings. And holiday meals may evolve like a progressive dinner: from the full Christmas dinner at your grandparent’s house when you are a child, to picking up your grandparents at the condo for dinner at your parent’s house when you are in college and then finally if you are lucky, an afternoon snack with your Granny at her assisted living apartment.

Traditions change again when you meet your significant other; someone you are willing to share a holiday with, and you discuss, navigate and negotiate a way to merge your traditions with theirs. And during this process you discover just how different but alike your upbringings were: one formal, one loud and hectic, but both filled with family and love.

You compromise by sharing the time and making a single celebration work across different continents (choosing to celebrate on a random date when it isn’t your year to be at “home”)

Then you have kids and everything changes. You want to create the same level of magic you had growing up, give them the same memories you look back on so fondly, make their childhood just as amazing as you can. Priorities shift. New traditions are created. And pretty soon the holidays have a new rhythm to them, a new setting, a new soul.

And it isn’t until forces outside of your own family change the plans and make you realize how established your new family traditions have become as a blended and merged and growing family.

Since we got married Christmas has rotated between Germany and California with either Christmas Day with both families in California or Christmas Day with Martin's family in Germany and a fake Christmas with my family on a date either before or after that worked best for everyone else. Family members on my side (Cody and Brenda, Dana and family, cousins, aunts and uncles, local friends and neighbors) would join or not depending on the year and when we celebrated.

However, for the past 12 years, the arrival of Christmas has been consistently marked by the arrival of the Germans. That is until this year. This year, the Germans didn’t arrive and we didn’t go to Germany.

So I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the lead up to Christmas Eve didn’t quite feel like Christmas. True we did the normal activities (symphony, nutcracker, cookie making) and had the normal things to look forward to (crab and raviolis, Christmas crackers, ice cream snowballs, and dim sum on Boxing Day) but even in the years when we went to Germany we would also do those things either before leaving or had them planned for when we got back.

It wasn’t until the day before Christmas Eve, when all of the activities were gone, and the Germans still weren’t around that I realized what was missing and what was making me bah humbug.

There was a brief moment where I thought to hell with any of the traditions. Let’s do something completely crazy and new since his parents weren’t around. Indian food for Christmas Eve? Mini-Golf instead of church? Fly to Mexico? If we didn’t have one tradition, why have any right?

Martin thankfully reeled in my crazy and insisted we go to the same church as always. And with that one event, the holidays were reset back to normal. The three days were perfect and somewhat more relaxing and less crazy than normal, with more connections and quality time with my parents.

So yes, it was different and my normal cue to signal the start of the holidays was missing, but it was also really nice. And I am thankful for the memories the kids got to have with my parents.

Pre Christmas Celebrations: