Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Wedding Diet


I have not been known to exercise restraint when it comes to food.  Poor Martin all too often hears me complain of eating too much after a good meal.  Nor am I known for getting up early to hit the gym.  So while I would like to think I am going to have a rocking body for the Big Show, I am a little too realistic.  I am already prepared to fail the wedding diet.   And all necessary precautions will be taken. 

I purposely bought a wedding dress that has a little give around the mid-section and will hide the late night beer gut that is inevitable.  I will begin a spary tanning regiment weeks before to allow enough time to make it look natural (because well all know that tan fat is more attractive than white flab) and Martin and I have started a “diet plan”...although overall the weight loss plan includes the “get skinny while you sleep” diet (which includes getting 7.5 hours a sleep a night and no carbs after 6pm) and possibly some yoga (which, in my case, can sometimes include sleep during the meditation phase).  Clearly, I expect to work very hard for this “perfect image.”

Overall, I don’t care about dress size, what the scale says or how I compare to my ridiculously fit sister (my matron of honor)…my true benchmark is if I am able to touch my toes.  I don’t think it is too much to strive for to be more flexible than I was back in sixth grade.

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