Christmas Traditions….old, new and different

Family traditions are a weird thing. In your childhood they aren’t even traditions, just universal facts and norms. Like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes to go outside, learning addition, and the changing of the seasons. Family traditions were just how things are done. 

They change over time as you grow up. At a certain point in your life you learn who to thank for Santa’s gift under the tree.  You start buying presents for your siblings. And holiday meals may evolve like a progressive dinner: from the full Christmas dinner at your grandparent’s house when you are a child, to picking up your grandparents at the condo for dinner at your parent’s house when you are in college and then finally if you are lucky, an afternoon snack with your Granny at her assisted living apartment. 

Traditions change again when you meet your significant other; someone you are willing to share a holiday with, and you discuss, navigate and negotiate a way to merge your traditions with theirs. And during this process you discover just how different but alike your upbringings were: one formal, one loud and hectic, but both filled with family and love. 

You compromise by sharing the time and making a single celebration work across different continents (choosing to celebrate on a random date when it isn’t your year to be at “home”) 

Then you have kids and everything changes. You want to create the same level of magic you had growing up, give them the same memories you look back on so fondly, make their childhood just as amazing as you can. Priorities shift. New traditions are created. And pretty soon the holidays have a new rhythm to them, a new setting, a new soul. 

And it isn’t until forces outside of your own family change the plans and make you realize how established your new family traditions have become as a blended and merged and growing family. 

Since we got married Christmas has rotated between Germany and California with either Christmas Day with both families in California or Christmas Day with Martin's family in Germany and a fake Christmas with my family on a date either before or after that worked best for everyone else. Family members on my side (Cody and Brenda, Dana and family, cousins, aunts and uncles, local friends and neighbors) would join or not depending on the year and when we celebrated.  

However, for the past 12 years, the arrival of Christmas has been consistently marked by the arrival of the Germans. That is until this year. This year, the Germans didn’t arrive and we didn’t go to Germany. 

So I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the lead up to Christmas Eve didn’t quite feel like Christmas. True we did the normal activities (symphony, nutcracker, cookie making) and had the normal things to look forward to (crab and raviolis, Christmas crackers, ice cream snowballs, and dim sum on Boxing Day) but even in the years when we went to Germany we would also do those things either before leaving or had them planned for when we got back.  

It wasn’t until the day before Christmas Eve, when all of the activities were gone, and the Germans still weren’t around that I realized what was missing and what was making me bah humbug. 

There was a brief moment where I thought to hell with any of the traditions. Let’s do something completely crazy and new since his parents weren’t around. Indian food for Christmas Eve? Mini-Golf instead of church? Fly to Mexico? If we didn’t have one tradition, why have any right? 

Martin thankfully reeled in my crazy and insisted we go to the same church as always. And with that one event, the holidays were reset back to normal. The three days were perfect and somewhat more relaxing and less crazy than normal, with more connections and quality time with my parents. 

So yes, it was different and my normal cue to signal the start of the holidays was missing, but it was also really nice. And I am thankful for the memories the kids got to have with my parents.

Pre Christmas Celebrations:

The Nutcracker

Cookie Baking

Deck the Halls at the SF Symphony

Decorating the Tree

And Christmas Day(s) Celebrations: 

Christmas Eve at the Scandinavian Seaman Church

Christmas Eve Dinner in SF

Christmas Crackers and Snowballs in Lafayette

Dim Sum on Boxing Day

Alva and Oskar couldn't get enough of the Har Gau

And in a nod to my craziness from earlier in the week, we did end up doing something new and different... Mini Golf on Boxing Day!

Christmas Joy

Oskar wanted a Nintendo Switch (average price $400), Alva wanted a bear shaped lip balm (average price $3.50). 

Afraid of a repeat from Christmas Past I felt the need to confirm Alva’s wish and ensure she didn’t want anything bigger. However when asked if she wanted anything else she couldn’t think of anything. She was super stoked about this lip balm. 

Fast forward a few weeks. I told Oskar the Switch might not happen since Santa needs to check with the parents before a present is given (and we weren’t 100% sure). He took it in stride and said was happy to have just Pokemon cards since the other present idea (a Lego set) was too expensive (it was $90). 

After many discussions with Martin on the merits and pitfalls of buying the Switch, I went ahead and bought it. Not for Oskar from Santa…It was going to be a present for the entire family from me and Martin. Because: 1) I wanted to ensure it would be shared between the two kids and 2) why does some random dude in red who only shows up once a year get all of the credit for giving the big presents. 

I had it planned. I would keep the Switch hidden and once all of the presents were opened I would do the whole “what’s that over there, it looks like we might have missed one” ala Ralphie’s BB gun present in A Christmas Story. The aim was to allow them time to enjoy the normal presents before bringing out the piece de resistance. 

Christmas morning arrived. The kids opened their presents and were so excited about everything. Whether pretending or not, Oskar was pumped for his Pokemon cards from Santa and Alva couldn’t get over the fact that she got two presents from him including her wished-for bear lip balm and a Hermione stuffie.  There was no mention about not getting the Switch from Santa, not even a beat was missed. 

The crowning moment was when Oskar opened up the big present from Martin and I. The Lego Space Station 3-1 roller coaster that he really wanted but said it was probably too much for Santa. He said it was the best present he had ever received and then he proceeded to open it up and build the entire thing for the next two hours. Side note: he told me that I specifically give the best presents. I had to remind him the legos were from both me and Martin. Mama for the win! 

And the Switch present secretly hidden in the corner waiting to be “discovered” was never brought out. They were having too much fun to ruin the Christmas magic with a video game. They have plenty of years to come when that is all that they want. For now, we will let them enjoy the smaller things. And if and when they ask for a Switch again, I am more than happy to revisit the decision and maybe buy it again.

Side Note 2: Mom Dilemma; the Switch was going to be the present to save Christmas in case Oskar was disappointed that he didn’t get it. He wasn’t disappointed at all and was genuinely happy with what he got. So in theory I was going to reward him for not being grateful. Instead, he was incredibly grateful for what he got and so I am not giving him the present? Is that bad? 

Final Memory: Alva went to bed Christmas night hugging her new stuffed toy and Oskar woke up  at sunrise on Boxing Day to play with the Lego coaster and to organize his Pokemon cards in his new Pokemon binder.

Cousin Fun

After a few missed years, we reunited the second cousins for some Thanksgiving fun up at Dunsmuir.

This Is Marriage

I brought a can of “healthy” Pringles home from a girls weekend. It was unopened and I figured I would save it for a fun trip with the family. It remained unopened in our pantry for almost a month. Or so I thought… 

Alva asked to pack it for Thanksgiving Week and I said sure. But when I grabbed the can off of the shelf, it felt way too light, even for the healthy version. 

This is what I found. 

Isn’t marriage the best?

Adulting

In addition to of the happenings of life and the commitments of our overscheduled children (soccer, soccer, BMX, gymnastics, music, swim, friends, etc) I have managed to have a few adult moments these past few months.

Fleet Week boat cruise with some old colleagues:

Our annual shopping trip to Roseville (where Ange and I put the over/under on shopping at Talbots at 2-3 years but noted we had many more before J Jill was acceptable). 

A night away with just Martin to Santa Rosa

My annual girls trip to Denver complete with matching outfits and a lot of quality time on the couch.

And Opera with my Mom (which we forgot to take a picture of)!

Election Day

Election Day for the last few cycles has been an event in my life: Staying up late In Switzerland for Obama in 2008, the tears of anger and protests of 2016 and the tears of joy in 2020. This year was no exception. With the kids at BMX for most of the night, I had planned to grab takeout on my way home from work, watch the coverage that night alone and head to bed with the results still to be determined based on how close the polls were. 

Even before I got home, I knew it wasn’t going to end how I wanted. And so, unlike every other year, I put off checking my phone or results. Instead I ate dinner alone at the table, I briefly looked at the exit polling data online, and then I put on the Eras Tour movie.

Did I cry, yup. Was it due to the needle moving closer and closer to red? The weeks and months of stress leading up to the moment? Or just Taylor’s musical genius with lyrics that cut through even the most hardened of hearts? I might never know. But I definitely cried.  And then unlike 2016, I went numb. 

Wednesday morning I had to explain to the kids (who were both super excited and hopeful just the day before) that my candidate lost, but that it was okay because that is what democracy is… sometimes people have different opinions and different ideas and we all get a vote on which represents us best as a nation. While the words came out well rehearsed it still sucked and everyone was in a bad mood. 

Since then, it has been a mixture of disassociating and wildly guessing what the future holds. Are we moving back to Germany? Do we need to buy gold bars? Should we buy a German barn instead? Is this our Roman Empire and we should expect a similar decline that followed their election of Julius Cesar, their own authoritarian, cult of personality (seriously I would love a historian’s take in this one)? How long will the stock markets rally before the national debt, deregulation, and the gutting of the government destroys our currency and livelihood (aka how activist investors or Elon Musk gut and destroy everything that makes an organization amazing all for some short term gains)? Have we really fallen to the lure of rosy retrospection thinking things were better in the past and forgetting all of the shit? Am I crazy and this will actually be a good thing for our kids’ futures? 

My brain has short-circuited on all of the unknowns and what ifs that could come our way. 

So with nothing else to do, I will make some popcorn, stockpile my canned goods and hope for the best while expecting the worst. 

Halloween

I failed at getting a good picture of the kids before trick or treating... 

Oskar with Henri (Skeleton and Harry Potter)

Alva with Ella (Hermoine Granger without her cloak and Vampire with my Cruella De Vil wig)

The Lemonade Stand

At some point over the summer, Oskar and Alva began making plans for a lemonade stand. They were excited and so naturally we were all excited. We figured the best weekend to set up the stand would be Saturday of Fleet Week and we would set up at the top of our alley to get the business of all the tourists who were hot and thirsty after climbing up to Coit Tower. 

Limes and lemons were purchased on Friday and then the kids got to work Saturday morning.

They made signs

They made the juice  

And then they made a killing.  At $0.50 a cup, the kids brought in a lot of business and at that price point most people ended up tipping up to $1.  

The stand was open for only 1 hour, they sold out of lemonade and they made over $45.  We also had a great time meeting a few new neighbors, catching up with a few old friends, and chatting up people visiting the city for Fleet Week.

The ABC (stores) of Oahu

On paper the trip didn’t make much sense. A four day vacation to Hawaii which required the kids to miss school just a week before their week long fall break. But the Aussies were going to be in Hawaii and Hawaii is closer than Australia, so we went to Hawaii. 

While the Aussies were staying near Kailua, we opted to stay in downtown Waikiki using points to make the four day jaunt a little less expensive. And before we even got to the airport, Martin started to worry about the choice of location… while on the long-term parking shuttle, we were informed by a few dads on their way mountain biking in Moab with their kids (definitely Martin’s ideal vacation) that Waikiki is the Disneyland of Hawaii. And let’s just say they weren’t wrong. 

It had been 30 years since I was last in Oahu (and we stayed at a house on the North Shore) and almost 10 years since we had been to Hawaii at all (the last trip was at a cottage on the North Shore of Kauai). And let’s just say it was a different kind of Hawaii, due to both the city feeling of Waikiki as well as the commoditization of experiences that has since taken over the islands. We had to make reservations for everything which we failed to do (including Hanauma Bay and Diamond Head parking) and prices had definitely increased exponentially (every event seemed to be at least $100 per person or more) 

But it was totally worth it for what we wanted and needed. We enjoyed the beach, we laid by the pool, we hiked and we got to spend time with our good friends.  Oskar surfed, Alva became an Aussie hugging koala and we learned a few new fun facts about the kids like Alva doesn’t like the rain in the rainforest (but was okay once she found a large leaf to cover her head) and neither kid likes coconut water. 

Martin introduced the kids to virgin pina coladas and I reintroduced the $20, two treats a day rule  (the kids took all weekend checking out every ABC Store we passed which was every block and sometimes two to a block, deciding what to buy and both picked out things they really loved). 

After all of my years of wanting to do a beach resort in Hawaii, I learned that Waikiki is not my idea of Hawaii. But Hawaii is my idea of a great vacation. 

Side note: we did one super touristy thing which was the Polynesian Cultural Center which I had remembered from my first trip 30 years ago. For more than a day at Disneyland, we got to see a man husk and milk a coconut, climb a coconut tree, watch a fire dance show and get fake tattoos. Let’s hope prices don’t increase at the same rate so Oskar and Alva can take their kids in the future if they want.

First Day of School

 And at least one of them had a proper haircut!

East Germany Forests

Another year, another Breuer family holiday in the remotest regions of Germany. This year we ended up in the Erzgebirge Region of East Germany because it was the closest spot to Chemnitz that offered the solitude that the Breuers love in a vacation yet close enough to Chemnitz to make travel easier for Regina and baby Erbste. 

A few fun facts and ruminations from the trip:

Martin took the kids over a week early since that time worked best for his family and I still had to work due to our quarterly earnings call and filing. Looking back, even though I had to work, those few nights at home by myself felt more like a vacation than the actual vacation

Germans strongly believe in personal responsibility and liability. There were so many things we were able to do that have long since been shut down in the US due to potential lawsuits: platform diving at a local lake, water slides with no supervision, Bobbahn (aka mountain roller coaster) where you controlled the brakes, the tube slide where Alva face planted giving herself a nasty scrape on her nose and an old mine tour where the USSR used to mine silver then uranium and you still could give the drilling machine a try inside the caves. 

Germans also love to tell you no. No, we were not allowed to bring in an ice cream cone to the outdoor patio restaurant where we were hoping to order coffee and cake. No, we couldn’t bring Alva’s bottle of juice out of the restaurant after dinner. No you don’t need a properly marked trail to hike back to the actual path when you have an app that says it really is a trail. And no, you shouldn’t skip on coffee and cake each day. 

And after 2 weeks of the German lifestyle I think the kids might need a sugar and shopping detox. In just one day the kids enjoyed: ice cream, poppsies, afternoon cake, apple juice for lunch and another sugary juice with dinner. They also had the urge to buy something, anything, everywhere we went (the mining museum, the space museum, the city wide celebration, the library). We will definitely need to reinstate the Disneyland rules for all future travel in Germany and Europe: $20 to spend on the entire trip and only two freebies for snacks or treats per day.

Seattle

Went to Seattle for a hot minute. Caught up with Jo and finally got to meet her daughter Bryce! It was weird to be back downtown after my stint at DocuSign. Same same but different. 

Alva Turns 6!

Alva is officially six and the celebrations can be summarized in two words: Harry Potter. It was a Harry Potter event that spanned weeks. Her birthday party with friends was Harry Potter themed, her school cone (which she got three weeks after her birthday was Harry Potter decorated) and her presents definitely slanted towards the Wizarding World of Hogwarts including a Hermoine Granger time turner necklace, Hogwarts cloak, a new wand with carrying case, a stuffed animal Crookshanks, Harry Potter mini figures, a Harry Potter magical coloring book, Harry Potter stickers, a Harry Potter cookbook and a Harry Potter Lego set. 

I must admit it is so much fun seeing her so dedicated and excited about something!

Tahoe Cousins

We had a great weekend at Lake Tahoe and the related blog started off sharing stories of the amazing weekend we had almost free of charge thanks to Hyatt points and Hyatt award status. It then morphed into how Martin seemed out of his element at an all inclusive resort and then pivoted once I realized Martin actually doesn’t dislike all inclusive resorts (Italy being the best counter argument) but rather him relaxing at a pool when mountains and a lake nearby was what was throwing me off. And then I lost my way and the plot line. So here is a photo from the weekend with Alva and Oskar’s other “cousins” where we relaxed by the pool and celebrated the July birthdays in style. 

The Burb Life - A Staycation

With Woodwards not an option financially this year Martin did some research and found another mountain bike camp out of Redwood City. So with a little planning, we booked a week-long staycation in Redwood City for the middle of July. I would work in the office all week, Martin would work from the Airbnb and the kids would attend camps in the area (Oskar the mountain bike camp and Alva a yoga and art camp put on by the Redwood City Parks and Rec Department). After the near escape from Susanville, I was worried what a week in the burbs would do to our city living lifestyle. 

The good news: after one week in a single story, single family home with a yard in town, Martin and I were both anxious and ready to get back to the city. 

We did make the most of the week in the best way possible before we hit our breaking point. We ate dinners outside due to the warm evenings. My coworker Angie hosted a casual dinner party at her house with all of the families. We checked out an Earthquake’s MLS soccer match. We watched a movie in the square. And we listened to live music with the rest of the town Friday night. We also enjoyed the backyard, with popsies and soccer, every afternoon. 

Even with all of the activities and fun, we were still done by Friday night.

A Mothers Influence

I’m turning into my mother. 

I know. That can be a lot to unpack. My mother is a multifaceted woman with many different layers to her life, personalities and relationships. So let’s just say on the most superficial level I have started to embrace some characteristics and quirks that I will forever associate with my mom. 

For example, I have never really craved Diet Coke and yet just a few weeks ago, it sounded delicious and I had to order one with lunch. 

If I think of my parents on a weekend morning (and more specifically a special day for my mom like her birthday or Mother’s Day) I will always picture my mom wearing her gray robe sitting at the dining room table reading the newspaper (most likely doing a sudoku or the crossword) drinking a latte and eating chocolate croissant that my dad most likely bought for her that morning. Let’s just say this is my ideal weekend as well. I love my gray bathrobe and miss my weekends reading the SF Chronicle. I also love to take advantage of days working from home to grab a latte and chocolate croissant from Victoria Pastry Company for my mid-morning snack. 

I can now appreciate the need to clean the house before you leave for vacation.

I recently found myself driving on the freeway in my black Subaru just like my mom’s, rocking out to Chris Isaak (who I never really appreciated until recently) feeling the soulful lyrics and music tug on my heart. Even worse, I was on my way to buy a plastic container to hold all of our emergency supplies in the back of the car. I stopped short of buying a plastic tool box, but the intention was there. 

And most telling of all. I can now understand and appreciate the silent rage my mom felt one morning many years ago that will live on in family folklore forever and resulted in a broken telephone. Up until recently the story would have gone something like this: “mom got really mad one morning during the summer when we were growing up. So mad that she took the landline telephone and slammed it against the post in the kitchen thereby breaking it.” Now I can see the story from a different angle. She had been stuck at home with us all summer, the car was broken and she had spent all morning trying to coordinate a ride so we could still go to swim practice thereby giving her a moment of peace and quiet to herself, something she rarely got over the summer.  After the ride was organized we then proceeded to tell her we weren’t going to swim. We didn’t want to.  Hence the broken phone.  (I am sure I am taking some artistic liberties here so mom feel free to correct me).  

So fast forward to current day where I recently experienced a moment of such frustration and annoyance that my skin felt like it was crawling and I needed to scream (the cause of this feeling is still unknown but I can tell you it was not to the level of the logistics my mom went through all those summers ago and was probably just PMS). Thankfully I was able to feel the rage coming (that plus I didn’t have a phone to break) so instead of completely losing it (which I really wanted to) I told the family I loved them but was in a terrible mood, I grabbed a bottle of wine and went the bedroom to enjoy a quiet moment by myself.

Love you mom

Summer Days

Another successful week at Pillsbury for the Fourth is in the books.  We SUPed, we paddled, we swam, and we somehow survived the heat. 

Summer has officially begun!