Airing of Grievances

With Christmas just around the corner, it is time to also celebrate those lesser known holidays – specifically Festivus for the Rest of Us. And with this glorious holiday comes the tradition of the Airing of the Grievances - a time to share with loved ones all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year. And while I won’t necessarily air out all of that dirty laundry (primarily because my loved ones have not only not disappointed me at all this year, they surprised me with their constant friendship and support), there are a few gripes/annoyances that I would like to air out. Normally I wouldn’t waste my time (or yours) posting a blog to complain about the little things in life - especially since my grievances are minimum compared to most (I have a great group of friends and family, great health, the ability to travel around the world, and a good job…and for that I am truly thankful) - but in the spirit of Festivus, here it goes.

• The couch – I spent over 2 months sitting on over 100 couches in search of the perfect couch – a dark brown leather couch with a left facing chaise lounge. When I started the mission, it seemed pretty straight forward. I now stand corrected. Like Goldilocks and her search for perfection, the couches were all too big, too firm or facing the wrong way. I finally found one that fit all of my criteria at Macy’s, bought it online, had it delivered and set up only to find out that after 1.5 days that I hated it so much it made me physically upset…too dark, too much leather, too much couch all together. The good news, I was able to call Macy’s to return it; they will be picking it back up next week and I only have to pay a 10% re-stocking fee. The bad news, I still don’t have a couch and am even more hesitant to buy anything…especially now since I no longer want a dark brown leather left facing chaise.

• The Paycheck – After not working for 5 months and living off my savings account, I was really looking forward to getting my first paycheck on December 15th. On payday I eagerly opened up my online bank account to notice a little blip of $300. Upon further review, I realized that this blip was in fact my “paycheck”. Yes, for the 88 hours of work I clocked the first two weeks back to work I was paid just over $300, or less than $4/hour. That is less than half of minimum wage in SF. So either my company, an accounting firm, messed up the accounting or they are not- so-subtly trying to get rid of me ala Milton from Office Space…my friends are convinced it is the latter. While Accounting is in the process of figuring out what went wrong, I am stuck without a paycheck and Christmas presents to buy.
  

• The Apartment –Like the couch, I looked at one too many apartments and finally settled on a spacious one bedroom apartment in a great location. The downside, it lacked all charm that I would normally expect from a SF apartment (i.e. bay windows, crown molding, built-in cabinets, etc). But I had to compromise at some point and I decided that what it lacked in charm, I could make up for it in decorating (so far, I am failing miserably, i.e the couch). However, what is more frustrating than the flat, blank walls is the constant clicking noise coming from the wall in between the bedroom and living room and the broken heater…and I don’t mean the heater doesn’t work, unfortunately not, it in fact works too well. Yes, it is 40 degrees outside and a whooping 85 in my bedroom. The damn thing won’t turn off. So I have two choices, sleep with the window wide open and listen to cars all night, or enjoy a sleepless night tossing and turning in the heat. For me, it is the equivalent of Dante’s second circle of hell.
  

• And finally the pieces of straw that are breaking my camel’s back – my ugly Christmas sweater that I order online didn’t make it in time for the ugly Christmas sweater party at work, my work pants no longer fit after 5 months off requiring a whole new wardrobe, and I haven’t seen Martin in over 4 weeks, with one and half left to go.

Santa all I want for Christmas is a break…Happy Festivus!