A Three Day Cleanse

Blame it on the week long work conference that involved happy hours every night and a free Red Hot Chili Peppers concert…or blame it on the food hangover from a week in New York for work (I had no choice, what with client dinners, a champagne and lingerie party with college friend Katya, breakfast with Jason from Zurich, lunch with my soon to be cousin-in-laws, and a weekend of brunches, lunches and dinners with Erin).  Regardless, I had a moment of weakness and decided to do a three-day juice cleanse – the Blueprint cleanse to be exact…The same one that Erin has tried and failed three times.   

The juices arrived Tuesday afternoon and I set to work Wednesday morning.

Day 1: I picked a bad day to start a cleanse.  The whiskey bacon shots and tequila punch bowl last night sounded like a good idea at the time, but this first green juice makes me want to vomit; the second one isn’t so bad, but I am dreading the next green one; by mid-day I am physically nauseous, I have a headache, I am shaking and am seriously craving a cheeseburger;  Finally home from work and powering down juice five, I have a new- found resolve after Dana tells she expects me to fail by noon tomorrow; With Martin out of town I end up watching really bad TV and find myself consumed by all of the food commercials…I have never wanted Papa John pizza before today but that commercial just speaks to me;  It is finally 9pm, I am calling it a day.

Day 2: I weigh-in in the morning and am down 1.5 pounds already, it must be the water weight; Thanks to the noted progress I am now craving the first juice, however the first sip stops all craving…maybe I should hold off on brushing my teeth until after Juice One; the day continues without much to note, although every time I walk past or through the office kitchen I think “I could totally have a cup of nuts or bag of chips right now…I am not, but I could”; I end Day 2 with the satisfying cashew milk drink.

Day 3: Down one more pound, which is great, but the joy is tainted from the really messed up dreams I have been having; just six more juices to go! I could actually do this one more day, I am going to miss being the crazy girl at work with her bag of juices to go; 7pm, last juice is finished and I feel great, I feel healthy and I no longer crave a cheeseburger, alcohol or anything unhealthy.

Day 4: I break down and order a glass of white wine and a massive omelet for brunch.  By the end of Day 5 I have consumed a 6 pack of beer in 4 hours and eaten a whole bowl of guacamole for dinner. Whoops!  It was good while it lasted I guess.