Warning Spontaneous Crying Ahead

In no particular order, there have been a few things weighing on my mind recently that have made the last few weeks (now months) a bit more stressful than usual resulting in a few bouts of crying. 

• My dad was recently diagnosed with Leukemia and while things are looking a lot better now, those first few weeks were an emotional rollercoaster with a lot of doctors appointments, more questions than answers and a general sense of the floor falling out beneath me 

• Due to the broad economic uncertainty (thanks to tariffs that were announced, then postponed and then on again) and some internal struggles, we have implemented austerity measures at work that have resulted in budget cuts, new high priority strategic projects, threats of returning to office five days a week, higher expectations with less resources all while attempting to keep morale for me team up. 

• The stories of US citizens getting deported and kids getting separated from parents (which appalling and gut wrenching on its own) has induced the additional personal stress as Martin is expected to fly home alone with the kids in July with an expired green card pending review of his renewal application 

• The continued wars and escalation in the Middle East, the war induced starvation of innocent children, and the deployment of the National Guard in LA

• Airplane crashes have become the norm as well as the assassinations of politicians

• And underneath it all is my desire to do something to stop this craziness, hindered by the crippling fear of Martin being targeted and deported or me getting seriously hurt in a protest 

So yeah things have been a bit tense and anxiety levels higher than normal which has resulted in me crying, unprompted, at random times throughout the days and weeks. As I exclaimed to Dana one night “Dana! We made it through a phone call without crying!”

The one silver lining within my control: with my dad’s recent diagnosis I have reset priorities and am trying to make each day count and not take any moment with him or the family for granted.