Sunday, August 21, 2016

12 Week Reflection



As previously noted, I have continuously turned to my friends and family as a resource for various questions and help.  I am always amazed that at times these women could provide such detailed insights and at the same time not remember key details or events.   And now just 12 weeks a mom, I understand…. Just yesterday a mom of a four week old baby in our Mommy Group asked for advice and I honestly couldn’t remember what it was like having a 4 week old… and that was only 8 weeks ago!  So in an effort to save the memories for when Oskar is older, here is what I can remember so far:

Breastfeeding was hard at first and around 4 weeks became incredibly easy.  Those first few days and weeks were like preparing for battle.  Each morning I would organize the daily supplies both on the couch and in the bedroom including two full water bottles, the phone charger, TV remote, snacks, more water, boppy, and a swaddle.  Everything had to be laid out ahead of time so I was ready when he was hungry… Which felt like all of the time.  

Night feedings were especially challenging logistically.  In the first two weeks, I spent so much time just trying to get him to wake up and be alert enough to eat that by the time he was in position and ready to go, he was back asleep which required efforts from both me and Martin to keep him awake.  It also didn’t help that I needed full light to see what was going on… so in an effort to let Martin sleep, I began each night feeding in those early days by moving Oskar and I to the couch which defeated the purpose of the co-sleeper Martin built him.  Thankfully the process evolved and soon we were doing night feedings in bed with the lights on (sorry Martin) which transitioned into just a bedside table lamp, then the light of my iPhone and finally now, no light is required.

I was so afraid of starving Oskar that anytime he made a noise or appeared to get fussy, I immediately assumed he was hungry.  As the primary provider of food, I wanted to make sure I was doing my part, (and to be completely honest, I was afraid of him crying)… on the other hand with Martin being solely responsible for diapers in those early weeks, any fuss or cry and Martin would assume Oskar either had gas or needed a diaper change.  On one crazy night at 8 weeks, this conflict of interest resulted in Martin handing me a purple faced Oskar wearing nothing but socks…halfway through the diaper change, Martin gave up and handed Oskar to me to comfort through food.

For diaper changes, we had no idea what we were doing.  Each diaper change resulted in pee on the wall and each poop required in a new outfit and some stain remover.  I think we washed the changing table cover at least daily and finally gave up on using one altogether.  I would truly hate to have a black light in our house CSI style… it would find everything covered in milk, spit up, pee and probably poop.  The diaper blowouts and spit up were probably the result of me overfeeding Oskar; but who really knows.    

Not only did Oskar eat all of the time, but I did as well.  I was hungry and thirsty all of the time in those first few weeks.  I made sure to have a bowl of nuts by the bed to snack on in the middle of the night and a large bottle of water to rehydrate throughout the day.  I have finally stopped eating in the middle of the night (my dentist is thankful for that) and Oskar and I now have a pretty consistent eating routine of every three hours. 

Overall I think we are doing well and I am curious and excited to see what the next 12 weeks bring.  And I suppose we have a few years to see if any permanent emotional damage has been caused by our mishaps.

Other key milestones included:

At 3 weeks, Oskar got his first real bath (yes we were a bit late to the game there) and we started laying down the foundation of a night time routine.  Unfortunately he also began grunting each morning from 2am to 7am so we stopped swaddling him at night to see if that helped… it didn’t. 

At 4 weeks, he was still on his own schedule or lack thereof so we had to cancel our anniversary brunch plans… instead of our annual meal at Foreign Cinema we opted for the local Original Joes.  He has since been back to Original Joes more times than I like to admit… I found something that works and we are sticking with it.

At 5 weeks, we enjoyed our first five hour stretch of sleep during the night!

At 6 weeks, Oskar stopped pooping at night which meant diaper changes were no longer required.  We invested in a box of 12 Hour diapers and Martin was able to stop changing diapers at night and in theory get a little more sleep… that was assuming Oskar wasn’t keeping us awake with his grunting.

At 7 weeks, Oskar was nothing but smiles and really began sleeping well at night

At 8 weeks we went to Germany and all hell broke loose in terms of progress

At 10 weeks, Oskar laughed out loud!  It was in response to my rendition of “Head Shoulders Knees and Toes” and I hope it was due to my funny faces rather than my vocal skills

At 11 weeks he began grasping for things and clasping his hands together.  And the grunting finally stopped!!  He still squirms and grunts a little in the morning but only enough to fart and then he falls back asleep

It is amazing how much he has changed in just a few weeks and I can’t wait to see how he progresses from here!

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