Words of Wisdom to My Kids

With the kids back in school I have found myself missing my time with them and fretting over our decision to send them back.  We were just starting to really bond and find a good routine.  And I was loving seeing them pick up on all of our mannerisms and life’s lessons.

And with all of my “free time” it has gotten me thinking about how I will eventually teach them about the bigger things in life especially when the daily stuff (like naps, diapers, etc go away) and we are ambushed by the responsibilities of raising an empathetic, caring citizen. Below are some of my initial thoughts, although I am are sure I will continue to add to the list. And hopefully I can use this as a cheat sheet for the key messages that I will want to get across when the time eventually comes.

There really is only one thing you need to know and that is the golden rule (you know treat others how you would like to be treated).... but at times that perfect rule might seem too short and broad to provide any guidance. So here are some additional thoughts to live by.

Never try to play catch up. It never ends well.

Puberty and high school are rough but they are just a blip in your life. I promise you won’t remember why it was so rough in just a few years. So keep your head down and your eye on the prize of graduation.

Be firm in your beliefs, but remember the power and freeness of letting things go.

You will at times experience big emotions (love, pain, hurt, loneliness, of sense of being lost, betrayal, joy, jealousy and so many more). It is good to embrace and acknowledge these emotions. Hold on to the good ones and remember that the bad ones diminish over time so don’t let them consume you.

Be kind to one another. I know siblings can seem at times like their only role in life is to make you miserable but trust me they are the only ones who will be able to laugh with you about your childhood, commiserate with you about your crazy parents and truly understand you and all of your flaws and still love you.

When it comes to sex you are going to hear and be taught that “no means no”. That is important but not enough. You should really live by only “yes means yes”. Only a verbal yes (not a head nod or wink) is okay. Anything other than a verbal yes and we have a serious problem and I have failed as a parent.

Sex can and should be fun and enjoyable. And it should ideally involve someone you love but at a minimum should be with someone whom you share mutual respect, especially someone who will respect your decision if you want to stop.

You will be offered and maybe curious about drugs. When this happens ask Uncle Cody. In the meantime, in the words of the famous addict and lead singer of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Anthony Kedis: “Your first time will always be your best time... so be prepared for a lifetime of disappointment thereafter.”

Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t enough. If they feel that way, acknowledge it and move on, there are too many people, friends, jobs, opportunities out there to waste time on someone who doesn’t believe in you.

However never turn down constructive criticism. Done honestly, it is the best gift someone can give you. Take it and then choose what you want to do with it.

Write thank you notes.

A good attitude and a willingness to learn and improve is way more valuable in life then having all of the answers.

Try new foods. You don’t have to like to, but you have to at least try it. Same goes for traveling new places, trying new things and meeting new people.

There is a fine balance between the fear of experiencing new things and true fear. It is important to learn the difference. The best way is to trust your gut. If something doesn’t seem safe or feel right, then don’t do it.

Embrace diversity and the differences in people, whether it is their culture, skin color, opinion, religious beliefs, up-bringing, whatever.

And as for those theological differences, you don’t have to agree however it is important listen and try to understand a different point of view. Remember the smartest people on the planet at one time thought the sun went around the earth. You might be the smartest one too, but you could still be wrong.

Okay, that is all I can think of for now, but I am sure I will add to this list as you grow.  What else did I miss?